In May 2004, a friend of mine pointed me to amiright. I'd written a few song parodies up to that point, but the opportunity to have an audience was inspirational, and, for better or worse, I've been cranking them out and pouring them in (many with similar mixed metaphors) ever since.
I'm not too familiar with post-70s pop music--I listen mainly to jazz and classical--so my stuff tends to be oriented to the 60s/70s. I often try to mimic as closely as possible the word-sounds/rhymes of the original song, sometimes retaining portions of the original lyrics if they work within the context of the parody. Because I'm a nonmusician, I focus pretty heavily on the narrative, but I try to make the lyrics track to the tune.
I get many of my ideas by reading superb submissions from other contributors. I hope you enjoy my efforts, all of which are copyrighted by me, John A. Barry, in the relevant year.
It was great to find this forum, and my hat is off to Chucky G. for providing a place where I and other parodists can publish our work
Song Parodies -> Lyrics
P stands for Pacing, F stands for How Funny, and O is for Overall Score.
Click on a column header to resort the page (ascending order, click again for decending order). Resorting on large pages might take a minute on slower machines or Internet Explorer.
| Parody Title | Original Title | Performer | Submitted | P | F | O | H |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kerry, Man! | Carrie Ann | Hollies | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 60 | |
| Drive the War | Drive My Car | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 44 | |
| Now He's Beleaguered | I'm a Believer | Monkees | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 40 | |
| Hidin' Hoods | Li'l Red Riding Hood | Sam the Sham | 3.0 | 3.0 | 2.8 | 53 | |
| Rummy, Rummy, Rummy | Yummy Yummy Yummy | Ohio Express | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.3 | 58 | |
| Spreeing for the Benefit of Mr. Right | Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite | Beatles | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 44 | |
| Mosque of Hate | Chapel of Love | Dixie Cups | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 69 | |
| Fixing a Hole | Fixing a Hole | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 44 | |
| Getting Better? | Getting Better | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 40 | |
| Lindens Are the Banes of John's Sans Sun | Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds | Beatles | 2.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 46 | |
| Mecca | Mecca | Gene Pitney | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 48 | |
| Sgt. Graner's Bonehead Hard-Club Band/A Little Threat from My Friends | St. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band/A Little Help from My Friends | Beatles | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 233 | |
| Looking for Scum | Lookin' for Love | Waylong Jennings | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 48 | |
| Moon Image | Moon Shadow | Cat Stevens | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 53 | |
| Opus, I Dei'd It Again | Oops! I Did It Again | Britney Spears | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 47 | |
| Chalabi | Let it Be | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 48 | |
| Condi | Windy | The Association | 3.0 | 3.3 | 3.0 | 44 | |
| Without Him | Within You Without You | Beatles | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 38 | |
| Condoleeza | Carmelita | Warren Zevon | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 47 | |
| Why Sharon, Huh? | My Sharona | The Knack | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 44 | |
| A Day in the Strife | A Day in the Life | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 50 | |
| Je T' Mene | Je T'Aime | Serge Gainsbourg | 2.5 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 54 | |
| Love That Pita | Lovely Rita | Beatles | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 42 | |
| These Boobs Are Made for Squawkin' | These Boots Are Made for Walkin' | Nancy Sinatra | 4.7 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 51 | |
| Each Meal $64 | When I'm 64 | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 45 | |
| These Boobies are from Dow Corning | Oh What a Beautiful Morning | Rogers & Hammerstein | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 57 | |
| Luger Luger | Sugar Sugar | Archies | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 37 | |
| Hey, Jute | Hey Jude | Beatles | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 47 | |
| Twisted Et [ymology] | Mr. Ed theme song | Unknown | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 40 | |
| Another Trick by De Gaulle, Part Dien Bien Phu | Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 | Pink Floyd | 3.0 | 2.0 | 3.0 | 50 | |
| Fix It with Rhin | Ticket to Ride | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 43 | |
| Flick It Aside | Ticket to Ride | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 39 | |
| Timothy | Timothy | The Buoys | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 62 | |
| 'Beaux!' Dit Sartre | Bodhisattva | Steely Dan | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 41 | |
| Beauvoir/Sartre | Bodhisattva | Steely Dan | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 38 | |
| Bloody Sadr! | Bodhisattva | Steely Dan | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 37 | |
| Body's Fatt'r | Bodhisattva | Steely Dan | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 35 | |
| Sixteen Going on Seventeen | 16 Going on 17 | Rogers & Hammerstein | 2.4 | 2.1 | 2.6 | 460 | |
| Dough-Ray-Me | Do-Re-Mi | Julie Andrews/R&H | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 109 | |
| Lab'al Vise | Edelweiss | Christopher Plummer/R&H | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 46 | |
| Sappy Crap | Happy Jack | The Who | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 44 | |
| My Least Favorite Things | My Favorite Things | Julie Andrews/R&H | 3.8 | 4.4 | 4.2 | 83 | |
| The Sound of Moving | The Sound of Music | Julie Andrews/Rogers & Hammerstein | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 68 | |
| NIcky, Your C**ze is Dumber | Rikki, Don't Lose That Number | Steely Dan | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 38 | |
| Sippin' My Twelfth Bock o' the Day | Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay | Otis Redding | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 47 | |
| Gouda Gouda | Sugar Sugar | Archies | 2.5 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 44 | |
| Cheese Shame! | Freeze Frame | J Geils Band | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 39 | |
| Happy to Tether | Happy Together | The Turtles | 2.7 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 53 | |
| Mixed Metaphor | Killin' Floor | Electric Flag | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 41 | |
| Murph the Divin' Pagan | Puff the Magic Dragon | Peter, Paul, and Mary | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 48 | |
| Stinkin' Sitzmarks! | SInk the Bismark | Johnny Horton | 4.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 66 | |
| Simp'rin' Simon | Simple Simon | 1910 Fruitgum Company | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 58 | |
| Schlep This Bone | Steppin' Stone | Monkees | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 36 | |
| Vacation | Vacation | Connie Francis | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 62 | |
| Cocoa, Moe! | Kokomo | Beach Boys | 3.0 | 3.0 | 2.5 | 63 | |
| Rove, Rove, Rove, Your Throat | Row, Row, Row Your Boat | Unknown | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 72 | |
| Deus Ron, Ron | Da Do Ron Ron | The Crystals | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 39 | |
| Limbaugh Rock | Limbo Rock | Chubby Checker | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 47 | |
| Holy Water | Dirty Water | Standells | 3.0 | 2.8 | 3.0 | 47 | |
| Swami's Rim | Swanee River | Stephen Foster | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 43 | |
| Beet It | Beat It | Michael Jackson | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 214 | |
| I Wanna Grow Spuds | I Want a New Drug | Huey Lewis | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 51 | |
| Here Comes the Dun | Here Comes the Sun | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 42 | |
| Hold Those Withers | Stormy Weather | Frank Sinatra | 2.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 41 | |
| Ohms in the Range | Home on the Range | Traditional | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 40 | |
| That's Amperage | That's Amore | Dean Martin | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 48 | |
| Volta's Rays | Volare | Dean Martin | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 45 | |
| I Am the Wal-Mart | I Am the Walrus | Beatles | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 62 | |
| Nineteen Merchants in a Shakedown | Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown | Rolling Stones | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 40 | |
| Penney's Pain | Penny Lane | Beatles | 4.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 35 | |
| Snoop John A. | Sloop John B. | Beach Boys | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 45 | |
| Killing Ashcroft's Knees--Bent Too Long | Killing Me Softly with His Song | Roberta Flack | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 66 | |
| Skilling Whore | Killing Floor | Electric Flag | 4.5 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 50 | |
| Lay, Kenny Lay | Lay Lady Lay | Bob Dylan | 2.5 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 43 | |
| The FERC's Wrong | The Work Song | Traditional | 1.5 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 45 | |
| SBC | 1-2-3 | Len Barry | 3.3 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 64 | |
| We Are Worldcom | We Are the World | Lionel Richie | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 66 | |
| Cod Only Go | God Only Knows | Beach Boys | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 41 | |
| I'm Cooking Fugu | I'm Looking Through You | Beatles | 3.2 | 3.5 | 3.2 | 39 | |
| Brainless Flack | Paint It Black | Rolling Stones | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 51 | |
| Saints in Sack | Paint It Black | Rolling Stones | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 71 | |
| Tainted Crack | Paint It Black | Rolling Stones | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 51 | |
| Can't Leverage Their Breaks, They Can't | I'm Enery the Eighth, I Am | Herman's Hermits | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 36 | |
| Turn', Turn', Turn' | Turn Turn Turn | Byrds | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 59 | |
| Fallow Field o' Beans | Yellow Submarine | Beatles | 1.5 | 1.0 | 1.5 | 41 | |
| His Blank Noodle Comes in Handy | Yankee Doodle Dandy | James Cagney | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 44 | |
| Rubies Today | Ruby Tuesday | Rolling Stones | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 39 | |
| Limes Have Come Today | Time Has Come Today | Chambers Brothers | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 54 | |
| Mush of Carrots | Love and Marriage | Frank Sinatra | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 39 | |
| Wokkin' the Dog | Walkin' the Dog | Rolling Stones | 3.5 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 36 | |
| Pissed Trees | Misty | Johnny Mathis, Frank Sinatra, others | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 36 | |
| They Do Rhone Clones | Da Do Ron Ron | Crystals | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 40 | |
| Applejack | Happy Jack | The Who | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 48 | |
| Callow Bung Pluggers | Hello, Young Lovers (from 'The King and I') | Rogers and Hammerstein | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 49 | |
| Greenspan | Greenfields | Brothers Four | 3.3 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 40 | |
| Who Put the Bomb? | Who Put the Bomp? | Barry Mann | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 210 | |
| Iraq Charade | This Masquerade | George Benson | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 45 | |
| Spoonerful | Spoonful | Cream | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 36 | |
| Homophones | Telephone | Chaka Khan | 2.7 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 64 | |
| Little Dude's Coup | Little Deuce Coupe | Beach Boys | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 40 | |
| Stupidcatalepticfratdicklexiconatrocious | Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious | Mary Poppins Soundtrack | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 58 | |
| I Sawed Her Antique Chair | I Saw Her Standing There | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 48 | |
| I Am the Worst Carpenter | If I Were a Carpenter | Johnny Cash/Tim Hardin | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 59 | |
| Sundered My Thumb | Under My Thumb | Rolling Stones | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 43 | |
| Kelp on Flounder | Help Me, Rhonda | Beach Boys | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 46 | |
| Whelk or Flounder? | Help Me, Rhonda | Beach Boys | 4.7 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 36 | |
| Sedentary Man | Solitary Man | Neil Diamond | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 43 | |
| If Your Fish Is Cooked in Lard | When You Wish upon a Star | Disney | 3.9 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 60 | |
| Fridge Holding Bubbling Water | Bridge over Troubled Waters | Simon & Garfunkel | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 37 | |
| Sackman | Taxman | Beatles | 4.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 43 | |
| Saxman | Taxman | Beatles | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 52 | |
| In Back | Get Back | Beatles | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 50 | |
| Jackson | Jackson | Johnny Cash | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 52 | |
| Growin' More Bile | Goin' Mobile | The Who | 3.0 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 43 | |
| I Could Have Lanced All Night | I Could Have Danced All Night | Alan Jay Lerner | 2.3 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 48 | |
| Cheney, Ghoul | Chain of Fools | Aretha Franklin | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 68 | |
| Slime Energy Pigs Raped My Land | I'm Henry the 8th, I Am | Herman's Hermits | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 47 | |
| Gent Whose Scent Sure Reeks at Fox | Twentieth Century Fox | The Doors | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 45 | |
| It Is Such a Memory Hog, Windows | How Much Is That Doggie in the Window? | Patti Page | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 46 | |
| You Can't Blame the Doggie | How Much Is That Doggie in the Window? | Patti Page | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 42 | |
| Fellin' Her Fig Tree | Eleanor Rigby | Beatles | 2.5 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 49 | |
| It's My Rheum | In My Room | Beach Boys | 4.0 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 45 | |
| Neverland Love | Never, My Love | The Association | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 36 | |
| Duckin' Spree | Bucket T | The Who | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 44 | |
| They Hold Me in Stock Holes | It's Only Rock 'n' Roll | Rolling Stones | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 38 | |
| Pillory | Timothy | Buoys | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 55 | |
| Affixing a Pole | Fixing a Hole | Beatles | 3.3 | 3.7 | 3.3 | 52 | |
| Substitute | Substitute | The Who | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 52 | |
| Nerf Titties | Surf City | Jan & Dean | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 39 | |
| Gimcracks | Get Back | Beatles | 3.3 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 40 | |
| Bric-a-Brac | Happy Jack | The Who | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 51 | |
| Gewgaws, Gewgaws | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 40 | |
| Buying Baubles | TIny Bubbles | Don Ho | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 53 | |
| A Tchotchke Fan | Walk Like a Man | Four Seasons | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 39 | |
| Kitsch World | Rich Girl | Hall & Oates | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 57 | |
| Wallow in Trinket Hoard | Follow the Drinking Gourd | Traditional | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 68 | |
| Jetsam | Jet Song | Bernstein/Sondheim (from West Side Story) | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 47 | |
| This Flotsam | This Old Man | Traditional | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 42 | |
| Chimichanga | Chim Chim-eree | Mary Poppins soundtrack | 4.4 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 98 | |
| Ax Chants | Taxman | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 45 | |
| Desk Burrito | Desperado | Eagles | 4.2 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 53 | |
| Sheep'll | People | Barbra Streisand | 3.5 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 48 | |
| Goat Busser | Ghostbusters | Ray Parker, Jr. | 2.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 52 | |
| Sultans Who Swing | Sultans of Swing | Dire Straits | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 55 | |
| Cathedral | Cabaret | Liza Minelli | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 52 | |
| Wild Child | Wild Child | The Doors | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 50 | |
| Besmirched, Bathed Not, and Beast Kindred | Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered | Rodgers/Hart (from Pal Joey) | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 42 | |
| Suburban Wife's Sick-of-Home Blues | Subterranean Homesick Blues | Bob Dylan | 4.0 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 45 | |
| Mail-House Schlock | Jailhouse Rock | Elvis | 3.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 48 | |
| Bomb Imams | Barbara Ann | Beach Boys | 2.0 | 2.5 | 2.0 | 55 | |
| Bridge over Gum That's Rotten | Bridge over Troubled Water | Simon & Garfunkel | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 47 | |
| Ridge is a Bumbling Cipher | Bridge over Troubled Water | Simon & Garfunkel | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 40 | |
| Numb My Nethers | Come Together | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 43 | |
| It's in His Bris | It's in His Kiss | Betty Everett | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 46 | |
| Earle, You'll Be a Woman Soon | Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon | Neil Diamond | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 52 | |
| She's a Man | I'm a Man | Yardbirds | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 53 | |
| Garmentmakerville | Margaritaville | Jimmy Buffet | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 43 | |
| I Love Frocks and Stoles | I Love Rock and Roll | Joan Jett | 3.0 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 37 | |
| Tranny Boy | Danny Boy | Traditional | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.5 | 231 | |
| Grifter Robertson | Mrs. Robinson | Simon & Garfunkel | 3.0 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 38 | |
| Lawyers, Gum, and Mommy | Lawyers, Guns, and Money | Warren Zevon | 3.5 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 175 | |
| Mikhail's Roe Boat Made a Score | Michael, Row the Boat Ashore | Traditional | 3.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 44 | |
| Texas Laws Says | I Fought the Law | Bobby Fuller Four | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 45 | |
| Nice to See These Things | My Favorite Things | Julie Andrews | 3.0 | 3.0 | 2.7 | 44 | |
| Lucre, Lucre | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 3.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 36 | |
| Cisco Slid | Cisco Kid | War | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 45 | |
| Long-Hold Stock | Long Live Rock | The Who | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 42 | |
| Sandy | Mandy | Barry Manilow | 4.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 54 | |
| Carbuncle on the Knuckle | Bungle in the Jungle | Jethro Tull | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 36 | |
| Spooge Full of Screwworms | Spoonful of Sugar | Mary Poppins soundtrack | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 46 | |
| Festerday | Yesterday | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 42 | |
| Eight Heils, 'Mein'! | Eight Miles High | Byrds | 3.8 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 42 | |
| Ah-mare-ree-ka | America (from West Side Story) | Bernstein/Sondheim | 4.0 | 3.8 | 4.0 | 71 | |
| Maria | Maria (from West Side Story) | Bernstein/Sondheim | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 48 | |
| Whelp! | Help | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 40 | |
| Dems Wish for a Kerry Christmas | We Wish You a Merry Christmas | Traditional | 3.8 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 53 | |
| He Drops to Steal Some Gizzards | We're Off to See the Wizard | Wizard of Oz soundtrack | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 47 | |
| Hannity | Let It Be | Beatles | 4.3 | 3.5 | 3.6 | 46 | |
| It's the TIme for Rush | There's a Kind of Hush | Herman's Hermits | 4.1 | 3.6 | 3.7 | 48 | |
| Waggin' the Dog | Walkin' the Dog | Rufus Thomas/Rolling Stones | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 43 | |
| Porn to Be Filed | Born to Be Wild | Steppenwolf | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.3 | 64 | |
| Pusillanimousanonymousonesgivingvoters | Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious | Julie Andrews | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 54 | |
| Hays Goes | Hey, Joe | Jimi Hendrix | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 47 | |
| Prime Your Puppet | I'm Your Puppet | Marvin Gaye | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 39 | |
| In Gepetto | In the Ghetto | Elvis | 4.7 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 59 | |
| When Bowdler Edits | It's Now or Never | Elvis | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 57 | |
| Tony Comstock | Crocodile Rock | Elton John | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 46 | |
| Luther, Luther | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 38 | |
| Luthier, Luthier | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 41 | |
| Spry Pope | High Hopes | Frank Sinatra | 3.8 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 36 | |
| Lame It Was to Call It Nova | Blame It on the Bossa Nova | Eydie Gorme | 4.5 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 47 | |
| Boring and Mild | Born to Be Wild | Steppenwolf | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 65 | |
| Arbitrary | Beyond the Sea | Frank Sinatra | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 52 | |
| Hookah, Hookah (sugg. by Johnny D) | Sugar Sugar | Archies | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 50 | |
| 'Shugge, 'Shugge | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 75 | |
| Cougar, Cougar (sugg. by Johnny D) | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 3.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 51 | |
| Kludger, Kludger (sugg. by Johnny D) | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 38 | |
| Kruger, Kruger (sugg. by Steve K.) | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.6 | 48 | |
| Neutered, Neutered (sugg. by Guy) | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.9 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 41 | |
| Schmoozers, Schmoozers | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 33 | |
| Shucker, Shucker | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 47 | |
| Tuba, Tuba | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 57 | |
| Tuchis, Tuchis | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.9 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 47 | |
| Pus Mop | Bus Stop | Hollies | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 47 | |
| Set It Free | Let It Be | Beatles | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 41 | |
| I've Thundered Miles | Five Hundred Miles | Peter, Paul, & Mary | 4.3 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 47 | |
| Res'nant Alley Runs Day | Pleasant Valley Sunday | Monkees | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 38 | |
| Psyllium | Cecilia | Simon & Garfunkel | 4.5 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 37 | |
| A White, Blade-Laden Whale | A Whiter Shade of Pale | Procol Harum | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 47 | |
| Only the Moby | Only the Lonely | Roy Orbison | 4.8 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 45 | |
| Aren't Seals Pretty? (from West Side Story) | I Feel Pretty | Bernstein/Sondheim | 3.9 | 4.4 | 3.9 | 58 | |
| Polyunsaturated Pam | Polythene Pam | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 41 | |
| Worcestershire Carameled | Winchester Cathedral | New Vaudeville Band | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 49 | |
| Don't Fry Your Member | Try to Remember (from The Fantasticks) | Harvey Schmidt/Tom Jones | 4.6 | 4.3 | 4.2 | 43 | |
| I'm Walled In | I'm Walkin' | Fats Domino | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 41 | |
| The Piste | The Twist | Chubby Checker | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 51 | |
| Stented, He's Fixed | 76 Trombones | Meredith Wilson | 4.1 | 4.3 | 4.2 | 64 | |
| Marryin' Libertarians | Marian the Librarian (from The Music Man) | Robert Preston | 4.0 | 4.8 | 4.5 | 47 | |
| Till I Turn Blue | Till There Was You | Meredith Wilson | 4.0 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 44 | |
| Trouble | Trouble (from The Music Man) | Meredith Wilson | 3.7 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 46 | |
| Makes Me Queasy | Take It Easy | Eagles | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 42 | |
| Ergot-got-got | Hot, Hot Hot | Buster Poindexter and His Banshees of Blues | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 42 | |
| Serfin' USA | Surfin' USA | Beach Boys | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 41 | |
| Myrmidon | Carry On | Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 44 | |
| Leader of the Pack | Leader of the Pack | Shangri-Las | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 59 | |
| Corn for Silage | Born to Be Wild | Steppenwolf | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 40 | |
| I'm Getting Married in the Morning | I'm Getting Married in the Morning | My Fair Lady soundtrack | 3.4 | 2.8 | 2.9 | 1649 | |
| I'm Getting Martyred in the Morning | I'm Getting Married in the Morning | My Fair Lady soundtrack | 3.7 | 3.2 | 3.7 | 1076 | |
| Frankenstein | I Feel Fine | Beatles | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 42 | |
| Sewn Man | Soul Man | Sam & Dave | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 47 | |
| Aphasia (the correct version) | Aja | Steely Dan | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 50 | |
| Aphasia | Aja | Steely Dan | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 47 | |
| Orally | Aura Lee | Traditional | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.6 | 62 | |
| Adrenal Jeannie | I Dream of Jeannie | Stephen Foster | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 47 | |
| Yasser, He Killed Babies | Yes, Sir, That's My Baby | Traditional | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 41 | |
| Fools on The Hill | Fool on the Hill | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 45 | |
| I Wanna Hoe Your Land | I Wanna Hold Your Hand | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 47 | |
| Rake the Terrain | Take the A Train | Duke Ellington, Charles Mingus | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 44 | |
| Is This Yiddish Right? | The Kids Are Alright | The Who | 4.7 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 56 | |
| Bola | Lola | The Kinks | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 41 | |
| Baisez Moi Beaucoup | Besame Mucho | Dean Martin, others | 3.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 401 | |
| Babylon Sh*tstorm | Babylon Sisters | Steely Dan | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 39 | |
| Catch the Kids | Catch the Wind | Donovan | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 46 | |
| Hirsute Girlie-Man | Hurdy Gurdy Man | Donovan | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 57 | |
| Expelled Jello | Mellow Yellow | Donovan | 4.2 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 46 | |
| Done-Flyin' Avian | Sunshine Superman | Donovan | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 40 | |
| Donkey, Shane | Danke Shoen | Wayne Newton | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 325 | |
| Poll Me | Hold Me | Clay Aiken | 3.8 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 44 | |
| Satyr Action | Satisfaction | Rolling Stones | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 37 | |
| Back from Old Land of the Czar | Back in the USSR | Beatles | 3.3 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 50 | |
| Sloe Downed | Slow Down | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 38 | |
| You're Gonna Booze And Hurl | You're Gonna Lose That Girl | Beatles | 4.9 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 43 | |
| Enjoyed The Bird | Joy To The World | Three Dog Night | 3.5 | 3.8 | 3.5 | 40 | |
| Bear Baitin' | Barefootin' | Robert Parker | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 53 | |
| Flight Rabbits | White Rabbit | Jefferson Airplane | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 33 | |
| Like Rabbits | White Rabbit | Jefferson Airplane | 4.6 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 37 | |
| Where My Cats Go Poo-Poo | Chatanooga Choo Choo | Glen Miller | 4.9 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 49 | |
| Feeding a Hart in Texas | Deep in the Heart of Texas | Hank Thompson | 3.2 | 3.1 | 3.1 | 49 | |
| Fecal | People | Barbra Streisand | 4.1 | 3.1 | 3.1 | 52 | |
| Airway to Septum | Stairway to Heaven | Led Zeppelin | 4.1 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 55 | |
| What a Gob of Ungual Pus | What If God Was One of Us? | Joan Osborne | 4.7 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 51 | |
| Ketchup In A Can | Catch Us If You Can | Dave Clark Five | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 49 | |
| Oh, Teresa | Mona Lisa | Nat King Cole | 4.6 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 44 | |
| An Imp Tossable | It's Impossible | Elvis | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 60 | |
| Meshugge, Shaq | Sugar Shack | Jimmy Gilmer & The Fireballs | 4.8 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 49 | |
| Razzman | Jazzman | Carole King | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 48 | |
| Spin Town | Swingtown | Steve Miller Band | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 32 | |
| Swing Vote | Swingtown | Steve Miller Band | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 36 | |
| He's A Slut For Jihad Pests | The First Cut Is The Deepest | Cat Stevens (aka Yusuf Islam) | 2.8 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 51 | |
| Fry Me Some Liver | Cry Me a River | Ella Fitzgerald | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 51 | |
| Got No Rhythm | I Got Rhythm | George Gershwin | 4.2 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 60 | |
| Halfwit Bliss: No More Banned Guns! | Happiness Is a Warm Gun | Beatles | 4.3 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 44 | |
| The NRA | YMCA | Village People | 4.5 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 61 | |
| Billy Love Dongs | Silly Love Songs | Paul McCartney | 4.4 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 44 | |
| Allawi | Alley Oop | Hollywood Argyles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 50 | |
| Rummy's Mind | Summertime | George Gershwin | 4.7 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 38 | |
| Dung Me | Dang Me | Roger Miller | 4.2 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 42 | |
| Secrete Anus Grams | Secret Agent Man | Johnny Rivers | 4.9 | 4.0 | 4.3 | 47 | |
| Meat Swells | Michelle | Beatles | 4.7 | 3.5 | 3.7 | 40 | |
| Runs His Mouth. . .Stumbles | Run Through the Jungle | Credence Clearwater Revival | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 38 | |
| Vox Stylin' (for Agrimorfee) | Rock Island | Music Man soundtrack | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 46 | |
| The Herd Got in the Grapevines | I Heard It Through the Grapevine | Marvin Gaye | 4.6 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 53 | |
| Reincarnation | Anticipation | Carly Simon | 4.9 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 41 | |
| Quimpeder | Guinnevere | Crosby, Stills, & Nash | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 30 | |
| Melba This Morning | Helplessly Hoping | Crosy, Stills, & Nash | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 34 | |
| Poonlance | Moondance | Van Morrison | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 40 | |
| Rude Oaf the Redneck Reigns Here | Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer | Everyone | 4.6 | 4.3 | 4.2 | 61 | |
| The Bush Nuts Song | The Christmas Song | Mel Torme | 4.5 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 60 | |
| White. . .Ship's Mast | White Christmas | Irving Berlin | 4.7 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 40 | |
| Mr. Wasteland | Mr. Spaceman | Byrds | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 43 | |
| December Schlong | September Song | Lotte Lenya | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 43 | |
| De Sade Song | A Sad Song | Ten Years After | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 48 | |
| Just the Two of Us | Just the Two of Us | Bill Withers | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 86 | |
| I'm a Honed Masochist | I'll Be Home for Christmas | Gannon, Ram, Kent | 3.4 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 101 | |
| Jongleur's Lyre | Jambalaya | Hank Williams | 4.3 | 4.5 | 4.7 | 45 | |
| You're Jake Gittes in Chinatown | Santa Clause Is Comin' to Town | Traditional | 4.6 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 45 | |
| Rubber-Lined Room | Summertime Blues | Eddie Cochran | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 43 | |
| Stented Freak, Naive Geek | Ebony, Ivory | Paul McCartney | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 34 | |
| Stented Freak, Naive Geek | Ebony, Ivory | Paul McCartney | 4.5 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 36 | |
| They Trampled Him During the Running | Battle Hymn of the Republic, The | Julia Ward Howe | 4.8 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 55 | |
| Jumps from the Cache | Jumpin' Jack Flash | Rolling Stones | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.8 | 42 | |
| Sox Will Take the Prize | Devil in Disguise | Elvis | 4.5 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 56 | |
| I Want Your Secs | I Want Your Sex | George Michael | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 43 | |
| Frothing and Foaming | Frosty the Snowman | Traditional | 4.4 | 4.6 | 4.5 | 49 | |
| Misaimed Ballpeen Hammer | Pretty Ballerina | Left Banke | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 65 | |
| He Came Upon A Midnight Beer | It Came Upon A Midnight Clear | Traditional | 4.3 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 41 | |
| Moaner Lisa | Mona Lisa | Nat King Cole | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 47 | |
| Mad, Rude Bison | Bad Moon Rising | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 4.7 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 42 | |
| Snoozy Queue | Suzie Q | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 34 | |
| Outsource, Outsource | New York, New York | Frank Sinatra | 4.7 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 50 | |
| Crust Rimes on the Ancient Mariner | The Rime of the Ancient Mariner | Samuel Taylor Coleridge | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 49 | |
| Blistered Tanned Man | Mr. Sandman | Chordettes | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.8 | 100 | |
| Cake, Sirs, Ça Sera | Que Sera Sera | Doris Day | 4.0 | 4.1 | 4.0 | 59 | |
| Lady Mammal Aid | Lady Marmalade | LaBelle | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 72 | |
| Reign Propped Up: Corrupt Saud Dickheads | Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head | B.J. Thomas | 4.7 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 38 | |
| Reign | Rain | Beatles | 4.9 | 3.6 | 3.9 | 37 | |
| Who'll Stop This Reign? | Who'll Stop the Rain? | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 4.7 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 63 | |
| Babble of New Cue L'ar | Battle of New Orleans | Johnny Horton | 4.3 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 54 | |
| Autodidact's Garden | Octopus's Garden | Beatles | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 46 | |
| Coup de Grâce | Monster Mash | Bobby 'Boris' Pickett | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 43 | |
| Dray Team | Daydream | Lovin' Spoonful | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 47 | |
| Crust Rimes on the Ancient Mariner, Part II | The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Part II | Samuel Taylor Coleridge | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 77 | |
| Who Cut the Cheese Now? | Who Can It Be Now? | Men at Work | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 53 | |
| Whose Cant Will Please Now? | Who Can It Be Now? | Men at Work | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 43 | |
| Three Martinis | Three Marlenas | Wallflowers | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 47 | |
| Upper Lip Is Weak | Up On Cripple Creek | The Band | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 47 | |
| Log Right In | Walk Right In | Rooftop Singers | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 40 | |
| Brain Dead in Ohio | Four Dead in Ohio | Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 46 | |
| Got the Fool Again | Won't Get Fooled Again | The Who | 4.2 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 46 | |
| La Vie on Hose | La Vie en Rose | Edith Piaf | 4.3 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 46 | |
| Boogers in the Morning | Sugar in the Morning | Andrews Sisters | 4.5 | 3.5 | 3.4 | 52 | |
| Blake Gone Through (and Huxley Besides) | Break on Through (to the Other Side) | The Doors | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 62 | |
| Crippled Ship | Crystal Ship | The Doors | 3.6 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 53 | |
| Sought Par Aid | Soft Parade | The Doors | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 40 | |
| I Was of Very Good Cheer | It Was a Very Good Year | Frank Sinatra | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 46 | |
| Zipped Up My Crowbar | Zip-a-dee-doo-dah | Song Of The South Soundtrack | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 38 | |
| Jabbertalky | Jabberwocky | Lews Carroll | 4.1 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 49 | |
| White Crick Mass | White Christmas | Irving Berlin | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 35 | |
| Cali.'s Clown | Cathy's Clown | Everly Brothers | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 47 | |
| Desiccated Swallower of Passion | Dedicated Follower of Fashion | The Kinks | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 45 | |
| Main Course Caused Ptomaine | A Horse With No Name | America | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 42 | |
| Bad Bunion | Glass Onion | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 43 | |
| I'm Garglin' Aqua Vita | In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida | Iron Butterfly | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 57 | |
| Down in the Pumproom | Up on the Rooftop | Chrismas Carol | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 55 | |
| Mai Tai | My Guy | Mary Wells | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 44 | |
| The Cognac-Swigging Story of Bunghole-Fill Bill | The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill | Beatles | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 38 | |
| My Sherry I Pour | My Cherie Amour | Stevie Wonder | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 43 | |
| It's The Most Gun-is-full Time Of The Year | It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year | Andy Williams | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 48 | |
| Mark Apparel Up for Spring | Hark, the Herald Angels Sing | Wesley, Mendelssohn, Cummings | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.7 | 56 | |
| Have Yourself a Merdy Spittle Kiss-Ass | Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas | Judy Garland | 3.5 | 3.4 | 3.2 | 51 | |
| Jingo Belle Flop | Jingle Bell Rock | Bobby Helms | 3.9 | 3.8 | 3.7 | 58 | |
| Paid to Take the Pix, Man | Baby, You're a Rich Man | Beatles | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 39 | |
| I'm Only Seeping | I'm Only Sleeping | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 35 | |
| From Eiffel | If I Fell | Beatles | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 33 | |
| Lazy! Mañana?! | Lady Madonna | Beatles | 4.3 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 42 | |
| Martyred, My Deere | Martha, My Dear | Beatles | 4.2 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 39 | |
| Have Ablutions | Revolution | Beatles | 3.9 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 39 | |
| He's On Tomorrow's Show | Tomorrow Never Knows | Beatles | 3.9 | 3.9 | 4.0 | 48 | |
| Calibrated Eating | California Dreaming | Mama and Papas | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 64 | |
| Cantharides | Candyman | Sammy Davis, Jr. | 3.9 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 51 | |
| Flawed Work on the Wall | Flowers on the Wall | Statler Brothers | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 56 | |
| Boneward Hound | Homeward Bound | Simon and Garfunkel | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 45 | |
| Incensed at Pedestals | Incense and Peppermints | Strawberry Alarm Clock | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 51 | |
| Twenty-Three (Please Read First!) | Let It Be | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 54 | |
| Goose Liver | Moon River | Henry Mancini | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 54 | |
| Clyster-Moon Rite | Mr. Moonlight | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 48 | |
| My Grill | My Girl | Temptations | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 49 | |
| SUV, Big Fat Car | Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da | Beatles | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.3 | 55 | |
| Degrease Me | Release Me | Englebert Humperdinck | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 56 | |
| I Am Woman | I Am Woman | Helen Reddy | 3.2 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 139 | |
| I Wanne Be Berated | I Wanna Be Sedated | Ramones | 3.3 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 46 | |
| Stop With the Hurl! | Top of the World | Carpenters | 4.0 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 46 | |
| Mute Troupe's Quiet | Zoot Suit Riot | Cherry Poppin' Daddies | 4.5 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 41 | |
| Dahmer | Donna | Richie Valens | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 48 | |
| I Saw Mommy Shivving Santa Clause | I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus | Traditional | 3.8 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 68 | |
| We Work Three Shifts | I Saw Three Ships | Traditional | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 36 | |
| Gin Is Hell | Jingle Bells | Christmas Carol | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 63 | |
| Littered with Junk | Little Brown Jug | Traditional | 4.7 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 45 | |
| My Colon Wind's on Fire | The Call the Wind Maria | Paint Your Wagon soundtrack | 4.0 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 61 | |
| Crust Rimes on the Ancient Mariner, Part III | The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Part III | Samuel Taylor Coleridge | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 38 | |
| We Fish from This Ferry Isthmus | We Wish You a Merry Christmas | Traditional Christmas Carol | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.7 | 63 | |
| Who Put the Spawn? | Who Put the Bomp? | Barry Mann, Gerry Goffin | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 49 | |
| I'm So Tired | I'm So Tired | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 41 | |
| He's Drunk, Santa Claus | Here Comes Santa Claus | Christmas song | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 135 | |
| Silage Fight | Silent Night | Christmas Carol | 4.9 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 71 | |
| Flockin' Synthetic Christmas Trees | Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree | Brenda Lee | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 49 | |
| Cross-Dress, Ye Married Gentlemen | God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen | Christmas Carol | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 91 | |
| The NBA | YMCA | Village People | 4.3 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 60 | |
| Bagels I Have Had of Rye | Angels We Have Heard on Higy | Christmas Carol | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 61 | |
| Wokkin' Blintzes, Winter Squash, and Lamb | Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland | Traditional | 4.8 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 41 | |
| Glove Me, Do | Love Me Do | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 47 | |
| They Named It After Cecil Rhodes | Why Don't We Do It in the Road | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 39 | |
| Into a Quiver Is Robin Hood | Over the River and Through the Woods | Someone Late for Thanksgiving | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 62 | |
| Chestnut Marriage | Chestnut Mare | Byrds | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 47 | |
| Found Out About Ewe | Found Out About You | Gin Blossoms | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 50 | |
| Pill Daily | Bill Bailey | Many | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 40 | |
| The Deck Falls | Deck the Halls | Christmas Carol | 4.6 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 112 | |
| A Little Down? Huff Meth, My Friend | O Little Town of Bethlehem | Christmas Carol | 4.8 | 4.7 | 4.9 | 60 | |
| All You Need Is Dove | All You Need Is Love | Beatles | 4.5 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 66 | |
| I Hate How You Glove Me | I Love How You Love Me | Bobby Vinton | 4.0 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 37 | |
| Then He's Kneading Something | If I Needed Someone | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 33 | |
| Woe, Holey Knight | O Holy Night | Christmas Carol | 4.9 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 71 | |
| Ow, Tannin' Balm! | O Tannenbaum | Christmas Carol | 4.6 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 51 | |
| But Your Burp Can Singe | And Your Bird Can Sing | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 42 | |
| Deep Doo-Doo | Dear Prudence | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 55 | |
| Girdle | Girl | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 47 | |
| I've Just Interfaced | I've Just Seen a Face | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 39 | |
| No Refried | No Reply | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 36 | |
| Northeastern Wood | Norwegian Wood | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 36 | |
| Papal Backliders | Paperback Writer | Beatles | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 41 | |
| Papal Backslider | Paperback Writer | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 44 | |
| La Marchandise | La Marseillaise | Traditional | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 52 | |
| Bagels in the Morning | Angel of the Morning | Merilee Rush | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 58 | |
| Beat Screws with Your Tool | Be True to Your School | Beach Boys | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 48 | |
| I Lock the Wine | I Walk the Line | Johnny Cash | 4.2 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 55 | |
| Nose Wiped on My Wet Glove | Roses Are Red, My Love | Bobby Vinton | 4.8 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 43 | |
| Drips Away | Drift Away | Dobie Gray | 4.2 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 48 | |
| B Cups | Because | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 59 | |
| I Want to Bell You | I Want to Tell You | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.0 | 4.5 | 34 | |
| I'll Cry' His Head | I'll Cry Instead | Beatles | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 39 | |
| Hate Junk Food | Love You To | Beatles | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 43 | |
| The Bird | The Word | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 39 | |
| Deer, Bear, and Every Mare | Here, There, and Everywhere | Beatles | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 40 | |
| Nose-Hair Man | Nowhere Man | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 47 | |
| Lunge for Your Wife | Run for Your Life | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 33 | |
| Your Work's Seamy | You Won't See Me | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 40 | |
| Boy, What a Jerk! | Joy to the World | Three Dog Night | 3.1 | 2.9 | 3.0 | 40 | |
| NIbblin' Latin Loup-Garou | Little Latin Lupe Lu | Mitch Ryder | 4.7 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 47 | |
| Mix the Paint Thick | Little Saint Nick | Beach Boys | 4.0 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 41 | |
| Humping Cupid | Something Stupid | Frank, Nancy Sinatra | 4.3 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 42 | |
| The Bush Family Ills Me | The Beverly Hillbillies theme | Beverly Hillbillies TV program | 3.5 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 106 | |
| Brew Christmas | Blue Christmas | Elvis Presley | 3.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 54 | |
| Little Jack Horner | Down on the Corner | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 50 | |
| When I had a Hummer | If I Had a Hammer | Trini Lopez | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.8 | 46 | |
| Mocha Lotion | Loco-Motion | Little Eva | 4.5 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 57 | |
| Silver Cells | Silver Bells | Numerous | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 57 | |
| Treason of Shrub's Bitch | Season of the Witch | Donovan | 2.8 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 45 | |
| Quagmire | Fire | Pointer Sisters | 2.3 | 2.1 | 2.1 | 63 | |
| Misanthrope | High Hopes | Frank Sinatra | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 36 | |
| George | More | Frank Sinatra | 2.6 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 40 | |
| Snore | More | Frank Sinatra | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 34 | |
| He Kneed the Little Christmas [Sprite] | We Need a LIttle Christmas | Traditional | 3.3 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 45 | |
| Lean Ain't from Custard | Mean Mr. Mustard | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 41 | |
| Stumbling | Something | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 36 | |
| Stun Gun | Sun King | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 32 | |
| Springs of Bed Decay | Things We Said Today | Beatles | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 39 | |
| Bait | Wait | Beatles | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 35 | |
| Mirth Day | Birthday | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 36 | |
| Lax-Held Slipp'ry Hammer | Maxwell's Silver Hammer | Beatles | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 41 | |
| Unsightly Sore | The Night Before | Beatles | 4.2 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 37 | |
| What Grows On? | What Goes On? | Beatles | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 36 | |
| Wile E. Retard and His Veep | While My Guitar Gently Weeps | Beatles | 3.7 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 39 | |
| I'll Knead You | I Need You | Beatles | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 34 | |
| Eyes Darting | Oh Darling | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 39 | |
| Please Grease Me | Please Please Me | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 38 | |
| Shrink Takes Your Wealth | Think for Yourself | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 38 | |
| Block a Rocket | Dr. Robert | Beatles | 2.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 38 | |
| Keen Timbre's Mean | Green Tambourine | Lemon Pipers | 3.5 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 52 | |
| You're Work-Shirking Louts! | We Can Work It Out | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 44 | |
| We're Going to Hide But Will Not Flay | You've Got to Hide Your Love Away | Beatles | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 33 | |
| He Hasn't Got Some Novocaine | I Haven't Got Time for the Pain | Carly Simon | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 35 | |
| Shakin' Hair with Briskness | Takin' Care of Business | Bachman-Turner Overdrive | 4.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 38 | |
| I'll Be Gone for Christmas | I'll Be Home for Christmas | Traditional | 2.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 41 | |
| If I Only Had Some Pain! | If I Only Had a Brain | Wizard of Oz sountrack | 3.8 | 2.6 | 2.6 | 55 | |
| Try These Pants, Sir | Tiny Dancer | Elton John | 4.9 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 40 | |
| Glockin' Out My Back Door | Lookin' Out My Back Door | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 4.1 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 38 | |
| Chancin' Rancid Meat | Dancing in the Street | Martha and the Vandellas | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 54 | |
| Just Broth for Me | Don't Bother Me | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.0 | 32 | |
| I'm Crossfire'd | I'm So Tired | Beatles | 4.2 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 35 | |
| Rupert Gives Us Lies | Judy in Disguise | John Fred & His Playboy Band | 4.6 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 52 | |
| Yellow as Lemon | Hello, I Love You | The Doors | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 42 | |
| Riders Help Block Torts | Riders on the Storm | The Doors | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 39 | |
| Creepy Gonzales | Speedy Gonzales | Pat Boone | 3.5 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 53 | |
| In My Oven | All My Lovin' | Beatles | 4.3 | 3.3 | 3.7 | 41 | |
| Lunch Meat | Love Street | The Doors | 4.2 | 3.6 | 3.8 | 46 | |
| On Bratwurst | On Broadway | Drifters | 4.7 | 4.6 | 4.7 | 46 | |
| I Like Plaice | There's a Place | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 45 | |
| From My Oven | All My Lovin' | Beatles | 4.5 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 53 | |
| The Gaffer | The Rapper | Jaggerz | 4.0 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 45 | |
| I Gotta Beat Meat | I Gotta Be Me | Sammy Davis, Jr. | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 52 | |
| Goat Writhin' in the Sty | Ghost Riders in the Sky | Marty Robbins | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 57 | |
| Itchy Shoe Sparks | Itchykoo Park | Small Faces | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 41 | |
| Little Bit on Sole | Little Bit o' Soul | Music Explosion | 4.4 | 3.6 | 3.7 | 46 | |
| File | Smile | Nat King Cole | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 42 | |
| I Farted and Smoke. . . . | I Started a Joke | Bee Gees | 3.1 | 3.0 | 3.1 | 83 | |
| Genes | Jean | Oliver | 3.7 | 3.4 | 3.6 | 49 | |
| Thar She Blows: I've Told My Secret | Do You Want to Know a Secret? | Beatles | 4.3 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 38 | |
| He Wears Sarongs | It Won't Be Long | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 42 | |
| Trust in Invagination | Just My Imagination | Temptations | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 43 | |
| All My Gut Peeks Through | All I've Got to Do | Beatles | 2.2 | 2.2 | 2.2 | 45 | |
| Devil in Disguise | Devil in Disguise | Elvis Presley | 2.5 | 2.2 | 2.4 | 50 | |
| Do You Believe in Mammon? | Do You Believe in Magic? | Lovin' Spoonful | 3.8 | 4.0 | 3.8 | 45 | |
| Crown Down | Downtown | Petulia Clark | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 55 | |
| In the Nates | In the Navy | Village People | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 47 | |
| Three Koi in a Fountain | Three Coins in a Fountain | Frank Sinatra | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 38 | |
| Goin' Like the Dodo | Going to a Go-Go | Smokey Robinson and the Miracles | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 50 | |
| My Second Has Got No Gun | I Second That Emotion | Smokey Robinson and the MIracles | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 43 | |
| They Keep a-Twangin' On | You Keep Me Hangin' On | Supremes | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 43 | |
| Seen at Graceland | Baba O'Riley | The Who | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 51 | |
| Ova, the Bane: Roe | Over the Rainbow | Judy Garland/Wizard of Oz soundtrack | 4.3 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 55 | |
| He Popped Eye, His Name Was Sam | Popeye The Sailor Man | Cartoon Show Theme Song | 3.3 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 68 | |
| I Will Try My Moon. . . | Fly Me to the Moon | Frank Sinatra | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 49 | |
| Can You Loan Some Tonight? | Are You Lonesome Tonight? | Elvis Presley | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 66 | |
| To Lug Somebody | To Love Somebody | Bee Gees | 4.4 | 4.1 | 4.3 | 43 | |
| Mounds of Silage | Sound of Silence | Simon and Garfunkel | 4.6 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 41 | |
| Bingen | Bingo | Traditional | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.4 | 58 | |
| Right Moos | Night Moves | Bob Seger | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 46 | |
| Crust Rimes on the Ancient Mariner, Part IV | The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Part IV | Samuel Taylor Coleridge | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 31 | |
| Love to Toss Back Some Beam (The Quest) | The Impossible Dream (The Quest) | Man of La Mancha soundtrack | 4.7 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 44 | |
| Manchild Who Maunders | Man of La Mancha | Man of La Mancha soundtrack | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 48 | |
| Manchild Who Maunders | Man of La Mancha | Man of La Mancha soundtrack | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 43 | |
| Voltaren | Volare | Dean Martin | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 50 | |
| Gal Fee | Alfie | Dionne Warwick | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 41 | |
| Golfing | Alfie | Dionne Warwick | 4.3 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 48 | |
| Bacon Love | Baby Love | Supremes | 4.2 | 4.4 | 4.2 | 80 | |
| Bills Go Up, Big F*ckup | Build Me Up, Buttercup | Foundations | 3.3 | 3.5 | 3.3 | 63 | |
| Nebbish | Cherish | The Association | 4.0 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 39 | |
| Can't Take the Ice Off This Wound | Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You | Frankie Valli | 4.2 | 3.6 | 3.7 | 54 | |
| Toad-Lick Blues | Roadhouse Blues | The Doors | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 45 | |
| This Knot Is Uvular | It's Not Unusual | Tom Jones | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 43 | |
| Get a Skirt That Looks So Fine | Get Me to the Church on Time | My Fair Lady soundtrack | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 67 | |
| Some Sex-Chatting Evening | Some Enchanted Evening | Perry Como | 4.6 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 47 | |
| Won't Get Food Again | Won't Get Fooled Again | The Who | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 46 | |
| My Waif | My Way | Frank Sinatra | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 47 | |
| Mass, He Chews It | Massachusetts | Bee Gees | 3.8 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 46 | |
| Sprayin' the Hive | Stayin' Alive | Bee Gees | 4.9 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 46 | |
| I Feel My Girth Move, 1 | I Feel the Earth Move | Carole King | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 57 | |
| I Feel My Girth Move, 2 | I Feel the Earth Move | Carole King | 3.8 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 53 | |
| Boxer's Concerto | Lovers' Concerto | The Toys | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 49 | |
| Legumes Concerto | Lovers' Concerto | The Toys | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 57 | |
| Rising is the Corn | Riders on the Storm | The Doors | 4.7 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 43 | |
| Writhing in the Dorm | Riders on the Storm | The Doors | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.4 | 40 | |
| I Will Flee for Miles | I Can See for Miles | The Who | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 44 | |
| I've Fleas | I'm Free | The Who | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 49 | |
| Harp-Daze Night | Hard Day's Night | Beatles | 4.1 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 47 | |
| I Should Have Owned Fetters | I Should Have Known Better | Beatles | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 34 | |
| Raptor-Food Delight | Afternoon Delight | Starland Vocal Band | 4.7 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 59 | |
| Squealin' 'Cause He's Reared | Reelin' in the Years | Steely Dan | 4.7 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 39 | |
| I Hear, the Crew's Sick | I Can Hear Music | Beach Boys | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 47 | |
| Isn't Abba from Sweden? | In a Gadda da Vida | Iron Butterfly | 4.7 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 51 | |
| I'll be Watching You | Every Breath You Take | The Police | 3.5 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 51 | |
| Breakin' Rocks Is Hard to Do | Breakin' Up Is Hard to Do | Neil Sedaka | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 40 | |
| I Fought God's Law | I Fought the Law | Bobby Fuller Four | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 45 | |
| Jailhouse Rocks | Jailhouse Rock | Elvis Presley | 4.5 | 4.3 | 4.5 | 48 | |
| Rancid Pork and Hurl | California Girls | Beach Boys | 4.7 | 4.6 | 4.5 | 43 | |
| Butcher, Butcher | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 55 | |
| Dizzy | Dizzy | Tommy Roe | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 46 | |
| Doctor Strangelove | Doctor Robert | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 43 | |
| Kane | Rain | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 41 | |
| Iss Ein Bischen Wiener, Diener, Mit Ein Glas Gruen | Itsy, Bitsy, Teenie, Weenie, Yellow Polka-Dot Biki | Brian Hyland | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 102 | |
| A Mare in this Pie | American Pie | Don McLean | 4.6 | 4.5 | 4.4 | 44 | |
| Surreptitious Mines | Suspicious Minds | Elvis Presley | 4.6 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 42 | |
| Wipe Room | White Room | Cream | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 42 | |
| Block Sphinctery (Log Is in Me. Whew!) | Hot Diggity (Dog Ziggity Boom) | Perry Como | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 58 | |
| I'll Be Seeping Goo | I'll Be Seeing You | Frank Sinatra | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 42 | |
| But She Loves Herb | And I Love Her | Beatles | 3.8 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 39 | |
| Man, I Love Herbs! | And I Love Her | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 43 | |
| That's My Glove, Sir | And I Lover Her | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.6 | 3.8 | 43 | |
| Unhappy So I'll Rant at You | I'm Happy Just to Dance with You | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 33 | |
| Cell Rings High | Tell Me Why | Beatles | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 38 | |
| It Ain't Mead, Babe | It Ain't Me, Babe | Bob Dylan | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 48 | |
| Feng Girl | Young Girl | Gary Puckett and the Union Gap | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 49 | |
| Done For on Road | One for the Road | Frank Sinatra | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 36 | |
| Lip It | Whip It | Devo | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 34 | |
| Lipids | Whip It | Devo | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 41 | |
| Rip It | Whip It | Devo | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 43 | |
| Came It Out: the Glossolalia | Blame It on the Bossa Nova | Edie Gorme | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 49 | |
| I'm Heading for That Boulder | Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 4.3 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 45 | |
| It's So Wet on This Polder | Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 58 | |
| Put More Heads on the Poles, Kurtz | Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 4.7 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 46 | |
| Putz, Your Head's on My Shoulder | Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 45 | |
| Take Your Meds or You'll Smolder | Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 45 | |
| 28 Teeth Bridge Song (Feelin' Toothy) | 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) | Simon and Garfunkel | 4.6 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 146 | |
| Wooden Chips | Wooden Ships | Crosy, Stills, and Nash | 4.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 41 | |
| Shitsy Bitsy Spyware | Itsy Bitsy Spider | Traditional | 4.9 | 4.3 | 4.5 | 54 | |
| I Hand-Help Myself | I Can't Help Myself | Four Tops | 4.1 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 53 | |
| Someday You'll Crimp Your Thumb | Someday My Prince Will Come | Disney | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 104 | |
| One Day The Gimp Was Hung | Someday My Prince Will Come | Disney | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 44 | |
| Shoonerisms: Spugar | A Spoonful of Sugar | Mary Poppins soundtrack | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 49 | |
| Litotes | Let It Be | Beatles | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 88 | |
| Me Drill Epistrophe with Glee | She's Still A Mystery to Me | Lovin' Spoonful | 4.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 52 | |
| Assonance | At the Hop | Danny and the Juniors | 2.9 | 2.9 | 2.9 | 660 | |
| Then I Plotzed | At the Hop | Danny and the Juniors | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.3 | 135 | |
| Homophones Are Strange | Home, Home on the Range | Traditional | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 53 | |
| Anaphora/Anna, Fork-a! | That's Amore | Dean Martin | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 121 | |
| Must--a Kosher Wok for Meat | Just a Closer Walk with Thee | Traditional | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 37 | |
| Hack off His Arms and Legs | Back in His Arms Again | Supremes | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 53 | |
| Rockettes Man | Rocket Man | Elton John | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 43 | |
| Hack Off His Arms and Legs | Back in His Arms Again | Supremes | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 57 | |
| Rockettes Man | Rocket Man | Elton John | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 40 | |
| This Hairpiece is for Trump | The Lady Is a Tramp | Frank Sinatra | 4.8 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 50 | |
| Buy, Buy Love | Bye, Bye, Love | Everly Brothers | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 45 | |
| Weight's Up: Vittles, Soufflé | Wake Up, Little Susie | Everly Brothers | 4.9 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 42 | |
| I Fall; There's Bum-Stink Air to Recline Me | Always Something There to Remind Me | Dionne Warwick | 4.0 | 3.7 | 3.8 | 47 | |
| Whiff, I Smell | If I Fell | Beatles | 4.9 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 40 | |
| The Heifer | The Letter | Box Tops | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 42 | |
| Wranglin' Man | Ramblin' Man | Allman Brothers | 4.9 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 40 | |
| Into the Great Wide Open [Crevasse] | Into the Great Wide Open | Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 47 | |
| My Maize and Grapes | Amazing Grace | Traditional | 4.3 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 47 | |
| Dorians | Gloria | Them/Shadows of Night | 4.0 | 4. |
