Oh well, I'm the kind of guy who will settle some new ground;
Where Britty churls are, well I'm gonna take 'em down.
We'll kick 'em and we'll gut 'em, and by now you've guessed my name.
We'll slug 'em and we'll grease 'em and take over their domain.
They call me the Conqueror, oui, the Conqueror;
Post-Rome I roam from town to town.

Well, we'll flow North, East, West, over bays and waves and bights,
And when we meet those churls, we will punch out their lights.
My men are real mean, many of them from Brest;
They'll tear open those squirts, whom by Romans were impressed,
'cause I'm the Conqueror, oui, the Conqueror.
I roam around, around, around.

And as we roam from town to town,
These proto-Limeys we won't spare.
After we've burned everything down
Then we'll put some in irons, and that's called "mis aux fers."

Then we'll take these guys and make 'em all sit down
And teach 'em how to say "circulaire" and not "round."
"Moi-même" and not "myself"; "jeune fille" in lieu of "girl."
We'll help make English one of the most
Trying tongues in the world,
After the conquering, we'll make the conquered sing
"Frère Jacques" in rounds and rounds and rounds.

[saxon-phonemes interlude]

Well after many years, English will become around
Fifty percent français. Take, e.g., "ville" and "town:"
Quite often there will be two ways to say some words:
"Ghost" and "apparition," e.g., derive from the two worlds. . .

An Anglo-Saxon term, a vulgar Latin term. . .
French is Latin dumbed down dumbed down, dumbed down.
Thanks to the Conqueror and other conquerors,
A Norman-Roman-Saxon mélange we propound.
Take the word "conqueror," from the Old French "conquerre";
"Battre," "vaincre," "subjuguer," and "surmonter," now,
Also "conquérir," yeah, it gets confusin', yeah--
Cognates go round and round and round and round.
Thanks to the Conqueror, we got a cognates blur;
I'm going down; I'm gonna drown in verbs and nouns.
Don't make me conjugate, French verbs. . .become irate
When I'm France-bound, can't get 'em down, I forehead-pound:
I get a concussion from thoughts of Conqu'ror 'n'
The domed-crown pound as done down in renowned Rome town.