Vicki met Johnny and lobbered;
Lobby, oh how she could lob.
John gawked her knockers and slobbered;
Ere long she lobbied his knob.
She tricked this man,
Then she was wooin' her John.

Vicki went down to the ballroom;
Johnny took hold of her ears.
She showed élan as balltender,
But her lover Johnny has fears,
'cause the Times ran
A story about her John.

And now we all follow the story,
All about Johnny and his ties
To a lobbyist, which translates to "'ho'."
Does Johnny like them all lie
When up he stands to say he wasn't her John?

Didn't know her, he says, so well,
As in Bible they done,
Says that she never got hold of
An inappropriation.
"What the Times ran,
You see, my friends, is all wrong."

Vicki lay back and she moaned "Oh!"
Johhny put in to her port. . .
In navy, knows how to strait-shoot.
But now he must retort:
He's not her man! She weren't wooin' his John'!

Roll call, he's absentee,
Rolls in what they mow:
Hay, that is, and she's at his side,
And they're discussing Sino-
U.S. trade bans.
Ahlso, she's Wooin' his Wong.

Roll out your "o-rote-tund" verses,
All you politicians' flacks.
Public relations, a knaveyard;
It's a magnet for hacks.
Quoth Johnny's flack: "The press is doin' him wrong!"

The press is pressin' Johnny,
Sayin' it's kind of outré
To be chummy with one who sells
To your committee. They
Pursue now that man, 'cause interest conflicts are wrong.

I don't know if she was oral
Or if she caused him to spend.
He might have scored, who knows? He shows
He ain't your straight-talkin' friend.
Vote for a man who's gettin' wooed as a John?