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Song Parodies -> "Terns, Terns Again"

Original Song Title:

"Turn, Turn Again"

Original Performer:

Joan Baez

Parody Song Title:

"Terns, Terns Again"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Bad news, bad news: that ain't no chicken peep!
Terns, terns, terns again.
If they could get me, their beaks would go in deep.
Terns, terns--not my friends, but my bane.

Hell's beaks make rubble of your ripped and rent ears.
Terns, terns, terns again.
Gonna get pickin' if they get into here.
Terns, terns--not my friends; they're a pain.

They'll dash off their flyway,
And your fate then will be sealed.
Terns, terns, terns again.
Then more people will be killed,
And their guts will be revealed.
Terns, terns--not your friends, but a bane.

They'll hew and they'll rend,
And you won't be yourself.
Terns, terns, terns again.
They'll cut with those beaks like knives
Till you weigh less than an elf.
Terns, terns, they'll skeleton your frame.

To them, you're a piece of fudge
That they pop in their mouths.
Terns, terns, terns again.
You're their vittles; they'll chaw ya
Spit fingernails out.
Terns, terns, rending the window panes.

"Oy vey, oy vey! This we do not deserve!"
Terns, terns, terns again.
Why from the flyway did these winged demons swerve?
Terns, terns--on an ill wind they came.

Cruel fate, cruel fate, to be ate as their meal.
Terns, terns, terns again.
Through their gizzards you'll pass
Raw. Yeah, you got a raw deal.
Terns, terns--it's too late to complain.

Sorry, mate, they're pickin' all
Of your eyes and lungs.
Terns, terns, terns again.
Damn! They're snackin' on him
And smackin'--if they had 'em--gums.
Terns, terns--soon no skin will remain.

He can't budge. . .best foot forward:
He can do that with ease.
Terns, terns, terns again.
They're so unkind; all they leave:
Hair, bone, nails. I grieve.
Terns, terns; it's for dinner they came.

They did leave an eye, and it glints in the gloam--
Turns, turns, turns again.
It's rolling toward me. . .
Like a story from Poe, 'n'
Squirm, squirm in the bed where I'd lain.

I wake and recall
Exactly where I am
Turned, turned, last night, in.
The tube'd hatched a Hitch
That seeped in my brainpan
"Birds," "Birds"--then the nightmare, it came.

Guess I will not git "Saw,"
When I go out the next day. . .
Turn, turn "The Birds" in.
And the next movie
That gets my cash outlay:
"King," with Yul, "Mary Poppins," or "Shane."

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
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 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

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alvin - April 30, 2008 - Report this comment
i'm afraid to go outdoors now...i don't wanna be a piece of fudge for them dangerous terns and pass through their gizzards...lol
TJC - May 01, 2008 - Report this comment
This was funny and certainly written by no, er, intern!

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