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Song Parodies -> "It’s the Most F**ked-Up Gas Line Firm, That’s Clear"

Original Song Title:

"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"

Original Performer:

Andy Williams

Parody Song Title:

"It’s the Most F**ked-Up Gas Line Firm, That’s Clear"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Pacific Gas and Electric (PG&E) is the criminally negligent monopoly controlling gas and electric production and delivery in much of CA. For years, they covered up seepage of poisonous hexavalent chromium from one of their gas plants in Hinkley, CA, into drinking water. The story was dramatized in the 2000 film “Erin Brokovitch,” the legal assistant who uncovered the malfeasance and forced the company to pay for the pain, suffering, and medical bills of the families that suffered health problems and deaths from unwittingly consuming PG&E’s poison. PG&E’s negligence and incompetence reached its apex in September 2010, when a transmission line with substandard welds ruptured in San Bruno, CA. Because PG&E had scrimped on automatic shutoff valves (as they scrimp on nearly everything else concerning safety), they were unable to shut the gas off for nearly an hour, during which time a massive fireball killed eight people and destroyed 37 homes. Now they are refusing to produce line-inspection records demanded by the state Public Utilities Commission, which is in the process of bowing to its patron (said commission has historically been stacked with PG&E whores and stooges). PG&E plans to stick the costs of their incompetence in the San Bruno disaster to ratepayers. In a 2010 election, not long before the explosion, the company spent $30 million of ratepayer money putting a bogus proposition on the ballot, whose sole purpose was to protect their monopoly by making utility competition impossible. It had the BS moniker of “taxpayer protection.” It was soundly defeated by voters who saw through it, such a transparent sham was the whole thing. To paraphrase William Hurt in “Body Heat”: “Incompetence, negligence, malfeasance, obfuscation, PG&E’s got ’em all.” Update: the f**kup running this clownfit just retired with a $35 million parachute.
It’s the most f**ked-up gas line firm, that’s clear.
That was what folks were smelling,
With some of them yelling to creeps, who said, “Cheer
Up there’s no problem, so get out of here!”

It was gas, gas that was seeping, but all
Of the creeps were just sleeping, and “deef” to the peeping
That rose to a squall.
There was gas, gas seeping—then a fireball.

Years earlier, toxic chrome
Entered most of the homes
In Hinkley, till Erin Broko’
Uncovered the true story
And revealed the sorry
State of this utility ’ho’.

It’s the most f**ked-up gas line firm, and fear
If you are whistle-blowing;
They’re going to be going
After you, that’s clear.
It’s the most f**ked-up gas line firm far, near.

For years they let toxic chrome
Enter most of the homes
In Hinkley. And then, San Bruno
Went up; and there the story
Became very gory:
Eight people were killed in the blow.

It’s the most f**ked-up gas firm, near here,
In San Fran; flacks smoke blowing
And exec dopes crowing:
“There’s nothing to fear!”
It’s the worst f**ked-up gas line. . .
Run by gross f**ked-up gas slime
It’s the most f**ked-up gas line. . .
All should fear.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

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 2   1
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 4   1
 5   0

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