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Song Parodies -> "Suck Then Toot"

Original Song Title:

"Substitute"

Original Performer:

The Who

Parody Song Title:

"Suck Then Toot"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

You can’t play this thing without a breath first,
After which you must let your breath burst.

You gotta suck then toot unless you’re a guy
Who can breathe circularly; otherwise
You’ve gotta inhale before you’ve aspirated;
Lungs must be puffed up before they’re deflated, yeah.

Suck then toot: let the air pass
Down through that tube and outward blast.
But do not blow it to the max;
The pitch might change, so use smooth attacks—
A fine-sounding toot, not squeals you’ll play on that sax.

Take your horn, put that plastic tube in your mouth,
Then gorge: pull that air down, in breathe
Till lungs seethe, then send it south—
I mean the air that you will then apply
Through conic tube—hear how that note goes high?
There’s a genuine problem—you don’t try
To work an inward squall, there’s no blast you’ll ply—
Sax will die.

Suck then toot: breathe more in,
Suck then toot: next, blow a din,
Suck then toot: more notes will come,
Breath in, air send through baffle*, son.

Puff up, then suck and toot—to make it go high;
The octave key, there, with your left thumb pry.
That little thing you feel is manipulated,
So hook big fat thumb and get lungs deflated, yeah.

Got your horn, with the plastic tube in your mouth.
Engorged lungs send air out, in breathe
Till lungs seethe, then send it south—
The bouts of air that you will then apply
Through conic tube that will not long stay dry.
From the bell will come droplets, and your thigh
Will be the place they fall as more air’s passed by—
Sax will “cry.”

Suck then toot: breathe more in,
Suck then toot: next, blow a din,
Suck then toot: more notes will come.
To cheat: note bends by champing, son.

Suck then toot: I know, sounds nas-
ty, as in something that’s déclas-
sé, but I’m stating simple facts:
Without air, there will be no attacks
A fine-sounding toot, not squeals, escapes from that sax.



*The mouthpiece, not the saxophone, is responsible for more than 80% of the tone a musician gets while playing. And half of the sound that comes from the mouthpiece comes from the baffle.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - July 28, 2011 - Report this comment
JAB - Splendid advice for both woodwinds and brass! Our AIR music faculty now is almost complete...you (woodwinds), TT and I (brass), and Fiddlegirl (strings). ;D
Old Man Ribber - July 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Oops! And Abbott Skelding too...a very good saxophonist! ;D

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