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Song Parodies -> "Nuns Are Mad and Naggin'"

Original Song Title:

"Puff the Magic Dragon"

Original Performer:

Peter, Paul, and Mary

Parody Song Title:

"Nuns Are Mad and Naggin'"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

JACK: applejack, TOP'S: Topsiders, DRAGEES: sugared almonds, LILLET: French aperitif wine; MARNIER: Grand Marnier, SACRE BLUE, C'EST VENDREDI!: My god, it's Friday! ALLONS Y!: Let's go!
Drunk from many flagons swigged into me.
I fall down and I gotta piss, so go horizontally.
Dribble jack on pavement. Lunch set to come up:
There's frog, beans--string, lamb, veal, and snacks and oven ham I'd supped.
Blow. . .

Jump out many flagons swigged hastily.
A Frankfurt complements the mess; I'd repasted hoggishly.
Pumped out, many flagons swigged hastily.
They fall down like a watered mist and then land on Top's o' me

Shoe leather then was dappled from a bout of swillin' ale.
Nasty did they look now; smirched from pungent splash, a pail-
load; a spring within gut right out gen'rously came:
Pie and chips, gastronome swag, rum punch once set aflame. . .glowed.

Drunk, then manic gaggin'--big highball spree.
Now frothing are my noshing lips; I look rabid, honestly.
Dumplings and some dragées slip out of me;
They fall down in an awful spritz and smell rancid, honestly.

On flagons, lips forever, Buds naught, so Lillet joys.
Drain these things, quite bitter--stings; Marnier, by contrast, cloys.
Some Grey Goose I sampled; Jacques the waiter gave me more.
No chump, I tipped the garçon. . .increased his peerless pour.

My head bent back, tongue furrowed, stream swale. . .down the drain.
Drunk, then stronger grog I take--Kirschwasser, cherry bane.
Despite a bite to fend off this washed-down wave,
I chundered in the Dame 'n' sadly made slipp'ry the nave. Gross!

Nuns are mad and naggin'; fish fry from me
Had frothed up from my Gnostic lips. "Sacre bleu! C'est vendredi!"
Drummed me out of France 'n' shipped me 'cross sea.
Some Franglais lipped to buds on ship: "Let's get hammered, allons y!"

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Rick C - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent job with the subs for the OS lyrics everywhere here. :-) 555
Serafina - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
What Rick said... it flows nicely. 5-5-5 from me too.
alvin - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
disgustingly funny
John Barry - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rick, Serafina, Alvin.
2Eagle - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
You know your french.
PMS - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I must agree with Rick and alvin
Ann Hammond - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
he he
Dee RAnge - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Nothing I like better than a great drinking and barfing extravaganza...takes me back to my youth. Rick C hit the nail on the head...this is great.
John Jenkins - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Sacre bleu! Grand parodie!
MrMacphisto - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
heh... I don't know how you do it, John. Good job... I learn new words with every one I read. :) 5-5-5
stuart mcarthur - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
whoa, what John Jenkins said - and what MrMac said - 555
Guy - November 29, 2007 - Report this comment
There was so much quaff turned ralphing that it made my guitar riff.
It slipped into the soggy barf and thus was set adrift.

I'll drink to this about 5 times.

Garson: Is monsieur dining alone or perhaps ha ha ha expecting a lady friend.
WC Fields: Ah yes - I'd have my girl friend with me but she's a dancer and had a terrible accident.
Garson: Oh Monsieur - I am terribly sorry - is she alright?
WC Fields: Yeah yeah she was doing some high kicks and got her high heels caught in her ear ring.
Garson: All ze beautiful ladies in Paris dance in ze Can-Can.
WC Fields: Ah yes they dance in the Can-Can do they?
Garson: Oui.
WC Fields: Ah yes if they had to pay ten cents over here like they do back home there'd be less dancing in.there.
Garson: Pardon me Monsiuer?
WC Fields: ah never-mind - I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
Garson: I'm sorry monsiuer - We are out of horse!
WC Fields: Alright then just bring me a duck.
Garson: And would monsiuer prefer some brandy with his meal? I heard Napolean loved brandy.
WC Fields: I heard he was a card Cheet? Garson: Napoleon? A card sheet? Well would monsiuer prefer some brandy.
WC Fields: Ya ya - just bring it to me, don't beat me over the head with it.
Garson: Snifter?
WC Fields: Beg your pardon?
Garson: Snifter?
WC Fields: (inhales deeply through his nose as if to sample the air) No I must have missed her, was she headed for the Can-Can?

Garson: Would monsieur care for a little wine with his dinnair? WC Fields:
Mike - July 14, 2013 - Report this comment
What movie is this dialog from?! I love this line: "Snifter? No I must have missed her, was she headed for the Can-Can?"

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