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Song Parodies -> "Tainted Crack"

Original Song Title:

"Paint It Black"

Original Performer:

Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"Tainted Crack"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Tainted Crack

You saw my red nose and my eye whites rolling back.
My color went from rosy to blanched: I collapsed.
I see girls dressed in stripes. . .guess I went comatose.
Sticking out from my head is a long breathing hose.
I'm supine in ER, 'cause I smoked tainted crack.
My dealer, Ben, sent flow'rs; pollen makes my lungs wrack.
I can't even turn my head, because it's strapped in place.
I hear newborns wailing, and I want to scratch my face.
I took inside myself some very tainted crack.
Inside the bedpan is a stool that's very black.
Scabrous Ben must have laced it 'fore he put it in the sack.
Placing him on my sh*tlist—a Christmas card he'll lack!

You intervened just as my skin was turning blue.
I can't thank you enough for noticing the hue.
Where's my HMO card for settling obscene sums?
They'll gaff me because I've got a big deduction.

You saw my red nose and my eye whites rolling back.
My color went from rosy to blanched: I collapsed.
I see girls dressed in stripes. . .guess I went comatose.
Sticking out from my head is a long, hard breathing hose.

[Sound of labored breathing]

I won't smoke no more tainted crack, tainted crack. . .
Wracking cough, breathing hose.
Now if I want a buzz, I'll smoke pot to get high.
Don't wanna see no tainted, tainted, tainted, tainted crack.
Cough!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
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User Comments

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Johnny D - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Yikes! Increase defibrillation to 555 joules - CLEAR! BZZZZTTT!!!
Meriadoc - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
This 'cracked' me up! Specially the line: "I can't thank you enough for noticing the hue." ;-D
MrMacphisto - July 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Awesome... lol

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