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Song Parodies -> "Mocha Lotion"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Little Eva

Parody Song Title:

"Mocha Lotion"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

The ad tells you, you can get a brand-new tan, now.
(Just $6.80 for this mocha lotion!)
And you bite even though it is clearly a scam, now.
(Just $6.80 for this mocha lotion!)

It says you won't blister and will look Hamiltony.
(Oh, by the way, remember—shipping isn't free.)
Put some on, some on—mocha lotion's kinda slimy.
You put some on your hips, now. This is crazy:
Your rump turns black. Don't let it seep into your crack!

Right after you rub it in, you're in great pain, now.
(Your skin's crazing from this mocha lotion.)
Feels like you touched the boiler of an old steam train, now.
(Your skin's blazing from this mocha lotion.)

Now your skin is peeling just like a parchment scroll,
And it looks like an old shoe with a scuffed heel and sole.
Get it off, it off! Mocha lotion drives you crazy!

[Screaming sax solo!]

You writhe on the floor in a loco motion.
(Welts are raisin' from the mocha lotion.)
You didn't even make it out to the ocean.
(No sun rays enhance the mocha lotion.)

You will not get a tan in the emergency room.
If the skin grafts take, doctor's will know by noon.
Turn it off, it off. Don't buy lotion seen on TV!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   2
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Crazy Man Crazy! 5's...reminds me of that old joke..when the conductor was murdered, they charged the engineer..but his attorney got him off by pleading insanity...because he had a LOCO MOTIVE..
alvin rhodes - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ingeborg S. Nordén - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ouch Reaction Factor 5, 5, 5....great rhymes, wordplay, pacing and imagery.
Joelle - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Nicely done! 5's!
Michael Pacholek - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
That stuff sounds so painful, you should've done it to Grand Funk Railroad's version. And if anybody gives you ones, tan his hide 'til he's dead, Fred, tan his hide 'til he's dead!

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