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Song Parodies -> "Little Old Lady, Impassioned Keener"

Original Song Title:

"Little Old Lady from Pasadena"

Original Performer:

Jan & Dean

Parody Song Title:

"Little Old Lady, Impassioned Keener"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Coloratura: high-range soprano who specializes in trills, runs, and other vocal flourishes; singing of this type
It's the little old lady, impassioned keener.

It's the little old lady's new fashioned wiener--
Grows, granny, grows, granny, grows, granny, grows.
Pumped polyethylene makes her an impassioned keener--
Crow, granny, crow, granny, crow, granny, crow.
Plumped up, this pneumatic man's proxy's large--
It expands, huge, mighty head, super-rock-hard.

And everybody hears her when she becomes a keener,
It's the little old lady with fashioned wiener.
She pumps and it's plump, then she pumps real hard.
Her airs coloratura--make glass bowl a shard.
It's the little old lady, impassioned keener.

Her crooning is a nuisance, the neighbors accuse her--
Crow, granny, crow, granny, crow, granny, crow.
They call cops who come and put her in a cruiser--
Whoa, granny, whoa, granny, whoa, granny, whoa!
They give her a ticket and serve as confiscators
Of her foot-long, so she shops and she cops vibrators.

And everybody hears her when she becomes a keener,
It's the little old lady's batteried wiener.
It thrums and it drums and it hums real hard.
Her airs coloratura--make glass bowl a shard.
Thrills the little old lady, impassioned keener.

Goes, granny goes, granny goes, granny goes;
Crows, granny, crows, granny, crows, granny, crows.
Her cries come apace as she gets unwound;
She gives it the whole length, and neighbors drown in sound.

And everybody hears her when she becomes a keener,
It's the little old lady with plastic wiener.
It thrums and it drums and it hums real hard.
Her airs coloratura--make glass bowl a shard.
Trills the little old lady, impassioned keener.

Goes, granny goes, granny goes, granny goes;
Crows, granny, crows, granny, crows, granny, crows.
[repeat and fade]


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
I can't believe I've lived this long without knowing what a coloratura is.
alvin rhodes - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
a rollicking bit of fun nonsense...5s
Kristof Robertson - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Any parody that uses the phrase "batteried weiner" deserves a standing ovation. Silly, silly stuff, JAB...and all the better for it. 5s
John Barry - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Royce, Alvin, Kristof--thanks.

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