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Song Parodies -> "Pants On! Nada"

Original Song Title:

"Camp Granada"

Original Performer:

Allan Sherman

Parody Song Title:

"Pants On! Nada"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Swelled-up faddah, quell your addah.
Have you got your pants on! Nada!
Catechism is a pain in
The butt, as is it to boys when you come swainin'.

You take hikies with some tykies.
Late at nightie's what you likie.
You re-member after dinner;
You tell them: to reveal this makes you a sinner.

On the ground you've got fellators
And some shake-it palpitators.
There's no head broach here with missies
Boys bestowed with absolution and some kissies.

In the tent it's time to bare ya--
Seminary did prepare ya.
You re-member, now quite hardy;
You're about to organ-ize a lurching padre.

Way off, Rome; the money card'nals
Send back home for all those carnals.
Grown up now, kids come forward to share
Tales 'bout what priests did in their lairs.

Pay off, Rome, for prelates who played house with boys,
Who feel duress and make some noise
And come forward to say:
Though ordained, they were lay.

Queerest faddahs, band o' bruddahs,
We know for whom you had druddahs.
You deployed the "moisture missile,"
Right after you had read from devotions' missal.

You admit it, you've got failings;
Just confess 'em and keep nailing
Kids--doff your shawl, other vestments.
You're the guys who put the "sack" back in sackraments [sic].

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Total Votes: 6

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User Comments

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McKludge - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice bashing. Ya do have to wonder about the Catholic Church's attitude about their pedophile problem.
John Barry - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Alvin might find this interesting:

That lawsuit and another naming Presenti -- by accusers who said they were abused in 1962 and 1972 -- were dismissed by a Los Angeles appeals court in January because the plaintiffs could not prove the Salesians knew Presenti posed a threat.

Presenti admitted in a 2005 deposition to molesting the accuser and two other boys between 1970 and 1973, though he denied the 1962 molestation, Simons said.

When the victim from 1972 complained to another priest at the camp shortly after the abuse occurred, the Rev. Harry Rasmussen, a priest in the Salesian provincial office, was called in to investigate, court records show. Rasmussen visited the victim's family, who asked that Presenti be removed from Salesian High School, according to the records.

One year later, Presenti was transferred to St. John Bosco High School in Bellflower and promoted to school principal.

--From a Media News Group series on rampant pedophilia in Catholic order and the resulting coverups
Rev. Foley-Baker-Oral Roberts (butt, you can call me Craig) - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Incredible, genius-level work here John... absolutely, proslytively, er, skewering your intendeds--and all the while managing to stay within the rhyme scheme of the original! TMTC hilarious and uber-clever word substitutions... Five Flail Garys!
Father Presenti (and unaccounted for) - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Ha! ...lurching padre... I resemble that ream-ark! Ditto the Rev's comments above.
Title Police - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
"Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh!"--still a 555 for your tricky, risky line stops.
alvin - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
a direct hit.....yeah, familiar with bosco...this is my fave of the day
John Barry - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, McKludge, Rev (liked your sermon), Father, Police, Alvin.
Anonymoose - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
A truly great parod--and the double entendre [sic] at the end was just perfect!
lilCatLicker - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Pirate Jack, even this is too much for this LCC.
Ann Hammond - April 02, 2008 - Report this comment
he he he

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