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Song Parodies -> "Abel Sliced"

Original Song Title:

"Edelweiss"

Original Performer:

Sound of Music

Parody Song Title:

"Abel Sliced"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Abel sliced, Abel diced—
Cain was not acting sweet, hit
with a knife, took bro’s life.
God, not happy, said, “Beat it!”

God made him go, hang around no mo’,
kicked out for bro sever.
Cain, not nice, Abel sliced.
Gent’s then home-banned forever.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

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Observer - January 04, 2017 - Report this comment
Mr. Barry, submitting fragments as complete song parodies is blatantly cheating. The OS is 19 lines. You submitted 8. You are padding your numbers with garbage. Btw, your assumption of Cain using a knife on Abel is unfounded. The Bible says Cain killed him in the field. He used a rock to split his skull. Unless you believe knives were laying about the field. Cain was a simple farmer. He planted and harvested by hand and Abel was a simple shepherd. Any cutting was done with jagged stone. I don't remember a forge nor a blacksmith mentioned in this account. 1s
Old timer - January 04, 2017 - Report this comment
Minimum effort laziness. No vote
JAB - January 04, 2017 - Report this comment
Thanks for the enlightenment, Observer, but last I knew, this wasn't a biblical-history site. The OS is so lame I just couldn't go on, sorry.
Rob Arndt - January 04, 2017 - Report this comment
JAB, looks like you raised some Cain! 555!
Cain, a Maniac - January 04, 2017 - Report this comment
No Arndt, Adam raised me
Main, a Caniam - January 04, 2017 - Report this comment
I have a high cheese threshhold JAB. Let me add a few lines: Marked like a Cain am I doomed to roam .. Doomed to roam forever. Able sliced, able sliced .. Curse that Yahweh forever
Observer - January 05, 2017 - Report this comment
^ another person who doesn't know scripture. Cain took a sister as wife and had a son Enoch. Over his 753 years many were born to the point of a city being built named after Enoch, his first-born son. He didn't roam around cursed; in fact, YHWH put a mark on him for protection against an avenging descendant. And you don't have to have a Bible class to know the basics of God's word.
Avid Diva - January 05, 2017 - Report this comment
Sigh .. is there such a thing as a Scripture Nazi? I get the gist of the story. Cain was required to give a burnt offering to Yahweh. What he ended up doing was scraping up some of the tailings and inedible leftovers from his crop and burnt that. It satisfied the form of the ritual but not the true meaning, ie, to sacrifice something of value to show fealty to Yahweh. So it was rejected. Whereupon, in a fit of jealousy, Cain interprets this as Yahweh favoring his kid bro' Abel, so he slew the little bastid, Amiright ..... Now the reason I did not hew to scriptural inerrancy was because I needed the phrase "doomed to roam" to match "Bloom and grow" in the OS .. 'kay? Cause "Marked like a Cain, I am nonetheless protected against would be avengers .. would be avengers forever" just DOESN'T MATCH THE PACE! .. 'KAY?"
Bible Student - January 05, 2017 - Report this comment
Nope, not right either. The ritual was for cleansing of sin which always requires a blood sacrifice (the sacrificial lamb). Cain should have taken the best of his harvest and exchanged it with Abel for a lamb to sacrifice. He did not. That is why he failed. So in anger he slew his brother in the field. He struck him with a rock. And Yahweh made him accountable by inquiring of his brother. Cain was the first murderer. He should have been put to death, but with the small population was allowed to live and prosper, but with a visible mark so that no one would forget what he did. People lived to 900+ in those days, yet he died in the 700s. A few centuries earlier. He did NOT by himself build a city with his wife and first son. He built it when the population was big enough, probably after hundreds of years. He named it Enoch after his firstborn male.

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