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Song Parodies -> "I Only Want My Beam In You"

Original Song Title:

"I Only Want to Be with You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Dusty Springfield

Parody Song Title:

"I Only Want My Beam In You"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I do know what it is that makes me love it so;
I’ll even drink a lowly tumbler of Old Crow.
Those dudes started something
In Kentucky.
Now let me wet your whistle—
Won’t you please join me?
So stash that nasty brew;
I only want my Beam in you.

I love to quaff it, cached in casks of oak, whose hue’s
Imparted to the mash from which Bourbon ensues.
When it’s done, we’re lapping it up—what bliss!
I’d love to give to you a huge hooch-perfumed kiss.
My mission now is true:
I only want my Beam in you.

Dew drops. . .you smiled at me
And asked me for another dram.
You said it made you warm. . .
A tingly feeling in each gam,
Smooth as silk, honey.
You want to imbibe another healthy share;
I pour another tumbler, then make it a pair.
Then you started something
That randied me:
Your fingers firmly set
To get a hold on me.
A hander’s what you do;
I’m growing as the beats accrue.

Oh, oh! Dew drops are defiling me;
You spanked my chimpanzee, and
It gave a workout to your arm—
Again I’ve a standing gland;
It’s bristlin’, honey.
I just want to be astride you, drenched in there—
That schlong now sere then wetter, humping my au pair.
Won’t you part that fun thing
And then clamp me?
I’ve got my lingam set
To have a yoni spree.
You batted it, it’s true,
Emboldened by the Beam in you
You’ve wrenched and batted, I splatted much with dew.
I’m bonely—want my beam in you.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
nice double entendre with the "beam in you"
Timmy1000 - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
I'll drink to that - clever and funny.
Fiddlegirl - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Whoa-- Jimmy that beam right in there ;D
Tommy Turtle - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Whew! I was *so* expecting the "beam in you" to be ... you know, and surprised at the celebration of the whiskey only. But no disappointment a bit later on. :)

And I didn't stand a chance
A tingly feeling in each gam, ... one over, and stresses "ing" in "feeling".

Lotta misplaced stresses - "ken TUCK y" -- ok, we all do it, but maybe a hyphen, asterisks, or something else to alert the reader, so we don't trip when singing to OS?
"bourBON" likewise.... "bourBON ensues" = the DAY with you.

"cached in casks of oak, whose hue’s". Now, THAT's John Barry! :D :D :D

John, you've a genius IQ, surely a number of points above mine, so not going to insult you by recommending the TT Pacing Tips. It's just a matter of a little more care -- or a little less bourbon. :) :) ... Another one whose nits are far overshadowed by the brilliance of the entire concept and many of its lines. 555.
Guy - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
And so John, how does the honey in this parody hold her liquor? By the ears, of course. I take three fifths.
John Barry - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, Timmy, FG, TT (you're much too kind; I can't hold a candle to you or others on the site), Guy.
blackjack21 - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
This one had me Beaming with pride, nice work.
Lionel Mertens - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Looks like Jack Daniels isn't the only hard liqour. 5's
< ! ! ! > - October 09, 2009 - Report this comment
! ! ! ! . . . to the " Duke oSpank & UnchMe "

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