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Song Parodies -> "I Have Spied Some Porn"

Original Song Title:

"Riders on the Storm"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Doors

Parody Song Title:

"I Have Spied Some Porn"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

[organ solo with throbbing bass ostinato]

I have spied some porn,
Mine eyes have spied porn.
It’s porn that I do scorn;
It makes me so forlorn.
A nude man who hoists no bone,
Still, his man thing is shown!
“Fie!” I cry to porn.

I get ill when it is shown—
Bash brains of painters with a stone!
You must do what I say:
Burn it all today!
If it should catch a child’s eye,
It might make that child lie,
Kill, or run from home.
(I have been to Rome. . .
Porn on Sistine’s dome!!!) Yes!

[guitar interlewd]

Girls in the buff, also lads;
“Nat. GeoGRAPHIC” so bad!
It might make your hand. . .
Thus it must be banned.
If you are virtue’s friend
Put it all to an end
. . .travel to your gland. No!

[piano interlewd]

I have spied some porn,
Mine eyes cry: "It's porn!"
It’s porn that we must scorn
From the day we are born.
Die, you porn dawgs who have shown
Words like those in Jim’s/Hank’s/Dave’s/Terr’s[1]. . .tome.
Die, those who write porn!

I have spied some porn,
I am so forlorn,
Writers ply the porn,
Eyes are scored by porn,
Eyes above, be warned:
Guy applied some porn.[2]
Die, all who make porn!
I have spied some porn,
Writhing, I, from porn,
Dying[3] from the porn.


[1]James Joyce, “Ulysses”; Henry Miller, “Tropic of Cancer”; D.H. Lawrence, “Lady Chatterley’s Lover,” Terry Southern, “Candy,” all banned at one time
[2]Michelangelo
[3]“The Little Death” (la petite mort), French metaphor for orgasm

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Callmelennie - January 31, 2012 - Report this comment
Where did you spy this porn, JAB -- on the bayou? (Think Credence Clearance Revival)
Callmelennie - January 31, 2012 - Report this comment
(Re: Your opening line) When I was a younger knucklehead back in the Seventies, I would go up to hot chicks in bars and say, "C,mon baby, light my fire" I didn't get laid much, but I did become the master of the extended organ solo ;D
Patrick - January 31, 2012 - Report this comment
It's been a long time since I've heard of a work of literary erotica being subjected to legal sanction. I don't know if this is due to a liberalization of standards or just an increase in illiteracy. Lennie, I like your line about "extended organ solo".
John Barry - January 31, 2012 - Report this comment
Do it, Lennie, and thanks.
! ! ! - January 31, 2012 - Report this comment
Pirate Jack, alisa Duke o'Stroke-On-Wood, Porn hardly makes you, Sir, scorn, rather more whorelorn . . . . eh, SirSweaty ?
Callmelennie - January 31, 2012 - Report this comment
By "do it" JAB, do you mean do "Porn on the Bayou?" I accept your challenge, Sir. It is now too late for the song to appear tomorrow, but look for it Thursday, as I have the lyrics well in hand. Hiyooooo!
John Barry - January 31, 2012 - Report this comment
I'll look for it on Thursday, Lennie.

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