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Song Parodies -> "Barely Got Me Hard"

Original Song Title:

"Just the Way You Are"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Barely Got Me Hard"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Prompted by this.
Oh, for chaining and cries from pleading—
don’t let ’em down, hung off the floor!
I imagine streaming vermillion,
so this report’s kind of a bore.

It’s good to see the waterboard bubbles
from the guys who were caught off guard.
That makes for good times, but I’d a bad time:
This report barely got me hard!

I love eyein’ clubs and bashin’,
dragging guys around by their hair,
but this report can’t spur my passion—
I barely got a rise down there.

I do want severed digitation
or watching a guy get hot-tarred.
Big disappointment is what did ensue—
this report barely got me hard!!

I need the blows delivered to the knee—
it’s things like that I like to view.
It takes lots for me to reach apogee
If 10’s hottest, this is a 2.

I sure would love to read something better;
this is boring as playing cards.
I read this—it’s as if my cock’s fettered.
This report barely got me hard!!!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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This is view # 314