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Song Parodies -> "One Toe Opened Your Hind"

Original Song Title:

"One Toke Over the Line"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Brewer & Shipley

Parody Song Title:

"One Toe Opened Your Hind"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

One toe opened your hind, feet meet butt,
One toe opened your hind.
Sittin' down's gonna cause consternation,
One toe opened your hind.

It caused you pain when I drove it home, deep-buried
Is my hobnail boot of size nine.
Sittin' down's gonna cause irritation,
One toe opened your hind.

Boot in your butt, deservedly.
It's rearranged it, you notice painfully.
You don't enjoy it; you've got an anal sprain. You would like a Ked
Or a Converse that's made of soft canvas--a sneaker instead.
You've got a cold toe right up your hind, steel meets butt,
Steel toe right up your hind.
Sittin' down will feel like conflagration,
Cold toe right up your hind.

It caused you pain when I drove it home, deep-buried
Is my polished boot of size nine.
Sittin' down--not during copulation
Or you'll emote a whine.

Your buns I splayed a country mile;
Your butt was burnin'; my boot hit a pile.
I bet, as it burns you don't love my shoe
Givin' you a rise, right off the floor; sphincter kept you
From flyin' through the skies. Now there's a
Bum toe right up your hind, feet meet butt,
Bum toe right up your hind.
"Sittin' down's causin' me perturbation!"
Your throat's gonna opine.

It caused you pain when I drove it home, deep-buried
Is my retribootion, size nine.
Sittin' down's gonna cause purge-turd suasion,
On the throne you will whine.
You'll croak, as in "spoke": "Feels like dyin'!"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

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Paul Robinson - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, this parody kicks butt, JB...I love the OS, too...AND, as an added bonus, when I look on the right-hand side of the parody screen I see that there is a double-album retrospective CD of two of Brewer & Shipley's best albums, "Weeds" & "Tarkio"...probably, no...not probably...ABSOLUTELY their two best albums...and previously unavailable on CD...they only recently had a "Best of" compilation come out...prior to that none of their stuff was on CD...anyway...good job. 5's ~ ~ ~
Rick C - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
I love this, John. It's a freakin' riot! But, you'd better get on over to Tommy Turtle's parody on Goldfinger. He's convinced you're the composer, John Barry. I know you're the composter, John Barry and, you've flung a bit too much the turtle's way, I fear. Heh, heh. 555
John Barry - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Paul, Rick--and I am an avid composter, both in my garden and my par'd'in.
alvin rhodes - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
this connected solidly
AFW - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Pretty fancy footwork, here....and since it seems like, you've become a big celebrity overnight, John...maybe we'll soon be seeing you on"Dancing With The Stars"
Tommy Turtle - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
JB is definintely a" calm poster"... imposing imposter, posing with posture... wtf.... Chuckles from the first line. Five Toes in the --- crack.
Red Ant - March 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Yeah, this kicks butt. I see some 'one' voted low; maybe a follow up called "One-Votes: Open Your Mind". 5s
Larry Hensley - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but liked this one just fine

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