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Song Parodies -> "Fake Jewels"

Original Song Title:

"Hey, Jude"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Fake Jewels"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Fake jewels and gay gladrags
like a sarong go great together.
Endeavor to never let the two part
and you’ll look smart in any weather.

Fake jewels and ersatz jade
can be made to go great together.
The minute you place them next to your skin,
you’ll be next in a boa, feather.

They’re quite easy to gain, fake jewels, in main-
line stores such as Target—hurry over
to start looking real cool, ’cause as a rule
their prices than Macy’s are much lower.

Fake-jewel-encrusted crown
or a studded belt of faux leather:
you can purchase these items à la carte
and you’ll have sartorial pleasure.

One day they’re out, next day they’re in, fake jewels on pins—
just wait and they’ll regain their chicness.
What once was old will become new: fake-jewel
frou-frou; don’t lose it even ’f it seems to molder.

Fake jewels and gay gladrags
always belong arrayed together
Endeavor to keep on doing your part
to thus impart much raiment pleasure.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Nan Sequitur - June 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Head and shoulders above the rest today. Close to technical tour de force. Fine vocab. I wish this effort were not spent on the trivial and was suffused with parodic wit. Therefore, mixed score. I'm a tough marker, not an automatic fiver, and certainly not impressed by reputation and prolificacy.
John Barry - June 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks, Nan. I'm seeking a tough mark: 4K parodies under my own name. Now, you might respond, "What's the point?" None perhaps; I just want to do it. I'm on the home stretch and eager to wrap it up. Under those circumstances, I'm grinding 'em out, with the emphasis on grinding. What results is what results. C'est la [paro]die.
B G Gruff III - June 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Hey Nan, I was wondering if you could post some links to your work? I'm curious to learn what you regard as "suffused with parodic wit".
Nan Tuckquitur - June 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Nan S. and his/her ilk are free with their self-approbatory critical wisdom (sorry, make that digital wind), yet unwilling to post anything of significance to the site--i.e., a parody. Those who take the time and effort to write and submit parodies do so for variety of reasons, one of which is that they can. Pusillanimous poseurs such as Nan S. don't because they can't.
Nan Poopie - June 21, 2013 - Report this comment
I think Nan is onto something. Or on something. Or maybe just "off". Anyhow, fine work, John.
WarrenB - June 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Nice piece of work, JohnB. Your wordplay, as always, is fun to read along with the original lyric.
As to NS, there's no need to be too hard on the fellow/lady. Taste and humor are subjective. Though I would be interested in what NS finds pleasing so there's an idea of what yardstick is being used.
WarrenB - June 21, 2013 - Report this comment
NS, I suspect your other non de plume is Holy Harry. I don't think that conclusion is much of a stretch. And if I'm correct, you've made it known you've penned a few parodies yourself. Care to share some examples of your work or possibly point to some parodies you find enjoyable?
Nan Sequitur - June 22, 2013 - Report this comment
I am amazed that some of you didn't understand that I was complimenting Mr. Barry. The score must always be straight 5s or it's an insult?
I'm not Holy Harry. He's a lot funnier than I am. But I am a private guy who uses a screen name. Why call it a nom de plume?
You want to know what I like -- what I think is funny? Some time ago I ran across a parody written by Irving Berlin on a song by Cole Porter. I liked it and sent it to my friend, who had the same reaction. Here's the Berlin parody:

You're The Top!
You're a gin and tonic
You're The Top!
You're a high colonic
You're the burning heat
Of a bridal suite in use
You're the mound of Venus
You're King Kong's penis
You're self-abuse!
You're an arch
In the Rome collection
You're the starch
In a groom's erection
I'm a eunuch who
Has just been through an op
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're The Top!

My friend then sent me an early gift for my 50th birthday. It was "The House That George Built" by Wilfrid Sheed. I thanked my friend in my parody of the same song:

It's the top!
It is 'top' spelled backwards.
It's the top!
This book doesn't lack words.
It's the tome I need for my nightly read in bed,
It's The Geezer's Bible,
A juicy libel,
It's getting head.
It's shad roe,
It is Eustace Tilly,
It's the dough
Lost by Uncle Billy.*
I ain't in the buff,
Age quarante-neuf must stop.
On the fifteenth of December
Call me "Pop"!

* From the film "It's a Wonderful Life."

Mr. Barry, if I were you, I'd stop at 3,999. Quel beau geste!
fungirl - June 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Nan S is an outsider of integrity who took up the challenge of the cynics and skeptics. In your faces, jerks, which had egg on them! Where are your acknowledgments?

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