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Song Parodies -> "Sixteen Tuns"

Original Song Title:

"Sixteen Tons"

Original Performer:

Tennessee Ernie Ford

Parody Song Title:

"Sixteen Tuns"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Tun: a large cask for holding wine; a measure of liquid capacity equal to 252 wine gallons. Dross: waste, refuse. Lees: sediment. Oenophiles: wine connoisseurs.
Up on the hills steep, the grapes grow in the mud.
I stomp those grapes till the mush looks like blood--
Muck that's like blood from skin on them Rhônes
The vines have peaked, now it's time to get goin'.

CHORUS:
You stomp 16 tuns, what do you get?
A foot that'll molder, sunk deeper 'n' wet,
A stained peter, Rhone ballsy, damp pants hang low.
My toes and soles from the stompin' be sore.

Grapes shorn in the mornin' when the sun's on the vines,
I hiked up my pants cuffs and walked the incline.
I jumped in the tub and into that mass strolled.
The stomped dross lapped up to my *sshole.

CHORUS

I got corns a-formin' and there's sizzlin' pain,
I think my stubbed toe is stuck in the drain.
Wanna graze at a lunch break, after which I'll be lyin'
Next to a high Rhôned woman; we'll stomp midst the vines

CHORUS

Now the lees I'm stompin', and my steps are tired.
A lot of meth did I, and now I am wired.
Again I dive in till all grapes peeled.
I get so much more work done after swillin' those pills.

I stomped 60 tuns, thanks to the meth.
I'm going nonstop. . .don't even take a breath.
Put saltpeter, not sulfites, in bottles galore.
Those oenophiles won't get it up no more.


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
One thing a person can say about your writing---it's vocabulary enriching. You make me feel just a wee bit lacking in that area.....
Rick C - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
What Royce said....5s
AFW - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Sounds like you've squished some purple in your day...This is really grape...for fives.
Kristof Robertson - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
What Royce said; you're enriching my vocalbur....volcarub...vubac...forget it. 555
Larry Hensley - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one, 555
John Barry - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Royce, Rick, AFW, Kristof, Larry. I do enjoy wordplay.
alvin rhodes - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
funny twist to one of my favorite OS...5s
Paul Robinson - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, JB, I couldn't find anything to whine about in this one...Grape job...5's...

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