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Song Parodies -> "Ghoul in the Vein"

Original Song Title:

"Fool in the Rain"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:

"Ghoul in the Vein"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Well late at night, undead gals, guys seek dining.
They must fill up before morning light.
You know, they go for all blood types, tasty,
Canines canted for a bite.
There's a warmth in that fluid that's spurting-
When vegans are tapped, they're called "Blud Lite."
Vamps invade, then they suck, and it's hurting,
But the pain is the least of your plight.

Now on a prom miss they lunch so completely;
Soon undead, she is first turning blue.
For gore they're thirsting, screaming, "Feed me!" Draining
The veins, restraining a chew.
It won't clot, what Nadsat names "red kroovy,"
Lingo of Alex and his Droog crew, yeah.
Vamps slurp your mainline; they'll teeth it tasting.
They wear tuxedos, not muumuus.
They'll suck till your face is pasty.

A vamp will champ on a vein and he'll score ya;
You'll get a leeching then a crusty brown,
Their bloodlust makes you a goner
Then a burping sound sounds.
Next, you'll walk with them all, kroovy scorer.
A staked heart is what brings you down.
It's bloodsport that makes you an adorer
Of a bite to the neck, where vein's found, found,
Bite on the neck, where vein's found. . . .

Great taste!

So, vamps are watching the clock;
When the darkness stops--
Gotta get to the coffin.

No! Afraid of sunlight;
It treats them most unkind.
From its rays, get away!

No! Noo! They see it and they scream,
'cause its beams will turn them into goo, euw!
Gotta hurry, crawl
To the coffin's pall
Where they can sleep all
Day, until nightfall.

(Until no sol, oh. . .")

. . .how that body is starting to quiver,
And your tongue, slurping gland, getting wet.
You got some hemo to spout. . .um, tasty!
It's such a delicious fress.
And you'll suck on the vein till you're breathless,
Then a breast-fress--just gum the tit's top, yeah!
Some slobber and drool--you could care less,
'cause you're a ghoul--they don't crave no cl*t, c**k,
Ohhh noooooooooooooo!

Biting's the love that you've found,
Nightly you sup till you drown,
Dining on blood brings you 'round,
Biting when sun has gone down,
Biting on nuns in their gowns,
Biting for fun all 'round town,
'nines clear your gums; you chomp down,
Bright is the sun--brings you down,
Knife-like, the hunk of wood found,
Die when that hunk's pounded down.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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Jason - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
555 bites for you Sir!
Guy - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
I didn't know it was the habit for vamps to bite on nuns. I guess that is how they came up with "Blue Nun". Way over the top on this one John. It sucked up the OS perfectly. I'll donate 5 pints of red but not all at once like your vamp friends would like.
alvin - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
i especially liked the 'cloclwork orange' reference
Guy - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey - What would you call an android vampire?

What else - A Byte COUNTer.
Blud-Lite-Cake - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
~Pirate Jack Barrow~, . . . I guess your fridge is running low on L'meat . . . the Blud-lite line is very good, Sir John.
John Barry - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jason, Guy, Alvin, Cake.
Johnny D - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Congratulations on reaching the #1 position on the AmiRight Authors page, JB !!!
kevin - April 09, 2009 - Report this comment
very nice

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