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Song Parodies -> "Jimmy Wack"

Original Song Title:

"Jimmy Mack"

Original Performer:

Martha and the Vandellas

Parody Song Title:

"Jimmy Wack"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Jimmy Wack, Jimmy,
Hey, Jimmy Wack,
Those three aren’t comin’ back.
Yo, Jimmy Wack, Jimmy.
Hey, Jimmy Wack,
Never they’re comin’ back.

Your arms have cuffs ’cause you
Have offed people, more than two.
What exactly did you do
To that hot sweatlodge crew?
You made ’em fast then sit around,
Sweat electrolytes. . .resistance down.

Jimmy Wack, Jimmy,
Hey, Jimmy Wack,
Dead people don’t come back.
Yo, Jimmy Wack, Jimmy,
Hey, Jimmy Wack,
Facin’ manslaughter rap.
Need your lawyer,
Need your lawyer.

Gets one call on the phone
To his shyster, who’ll say
To the press people, “You
Know, it was this way:
It was just a tragic accident;
Jimmy’s a New Age magic gent.”

Jimmy Wack, Jimmy,
Hey, Jimmy Wack,
What’s your lawyer’s attack?
Yo, Jimmy Wack, Jimmy
Hey, Jimmy Wack,
He’ll claim you didn’t whack.
Needs a lawyer,
Needs a lawyer.

Schvitzin’ girl, boys
Were not getting any stronger,
Couldn’t hold out very much longer.
Dyin’: hard thing to do,
But Jimmy can finish off at least two.

Jimmy Wack, Jimmy,
Hey, Jimmy Wack,
The law is on your back.
Yo, Jimmy Wack, Jimmy,
Hey, Jimmy Wack,
Accident: that’s your tack.
“Secret”* hawker,
“Secret” flogger.

Jimmy, promoted by Oprah
For pullin’ scams out in Sedona.
Jimmy Wack, Oprah still got your back?
She keeps chummin’ with nuts and hacks,
She keeps slummin’—then must backtrack.


*The Secret, a con job for which James Arthur Ray was an apologist/advocate.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   1
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User Comments

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MadameDeFlogg - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey CaptainFloggHer . . . . chips aHoy, sir! PirateJack de Bray & Sway
Fiddlegirl - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
I had to look up the story behind the story here... (Where does Oprah *find* all these nutjobs? They get weirder every year...)

$555, which will come nowhere near covering the cost of the next seminar, but every little bit helps. ;)
Sauna Chanted Evening - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey, what's with the HTML links in the songs? A certain amphibious reptile has a patent on those! (j/k)

Perfect OS choice and title switch. 555 degrees, heh heh.

@ FG: Just as you said that not talking about Hell would be bad for Church business, what would happen to Oprah, et al., if the world were nutcase-free?
Phil Nelson - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
I also didn't know about this before. Good one.
2Eagle - February 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Good use of that word "schivitzin".

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