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Song Parodies -> "T. Cruise"

Original Song Title:

"Sea Cruise"

Original Performer:

Frankie Ford

Parody Song Title:

"T. Cruise"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Alvin Rhodes and AFW each did a parody of the OS with "Tom Cruise" in the title. Although my approach is different from theirs, they're all similar in that none could be construed as a valentine.
Short man, less than 5' 6" in shoes.
No use, bringin' him to the pews.
Being, you've guessed, about whom I now schmooze
Is the wasted talent known as T. Cruise.

Dude is, dude is crazy,
Dude is, dude is crazy,
Dupe is his new lady,
Poor Ms. Holmes got taken in by T. Cruise.

He likes Hubbard, maven of chicanery.
He cleared the engrams of his Stepford Katie.

He'd look a whole lot taller if he's packin' a hat,
Don't want no boozy floozy, no he'll have none o' that.
He must get stressed when readin' his reviews:
He's taken to task as a hack, T. Cruise.

Dude is, dude is crazy,
Dude is, dude is crazy,
Duped that Oprah lady--
She also got taken in by T. Cruise.

I will not see his movies; they're such a waste of time.
His parts are mostly grinning. . .teeth have white, bleached shine.
I get depressed when he's seen in the news.
Flacks must have a task promotin' T. Cruise.

Dude is, dude is crazy,
Dude has views quite crazy,
Dude is just a slave; he's
Taken in by Scientology, Cruise.

He likes humpin', I've heard, the same sex as he.
He'd clear those spent grams, I guess, on bended knee.

Dude is, dude is crazy,
Dude is, though, not lazy,
Dude's flicks, they keep making,
But I can't take the film grin of T. Cruise.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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alvin - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
nice job on this....ol' tom presents a pretty big target, doesn't he ?
Madly-Ladly - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
555 as he was quite good in "A Few Good Men", although Jack Nicholson was superb! In the film industry, he is OK by me; and he does appear to be a good Dad for his beautiful daughter.
MrMacphisto - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
I like most of Tom's movies, but yeah... he's a nut as a person.
Stan Hall - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Nailed the song and nailed TC, who peaked with "RIsky Business." Third verse say it all re his acting. A whole 'nother song (or twelve) is needed to cover his off-camera wackazoidery. :-)
2Eagle - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Good satire. Incidentally, Oprah is a celebrity suck up - she likes anybody who is on the A list.
AFW - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Another fine P.T. Cruise-er (Parody Trounce)

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