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Song Parodies -> "Football Gripper"

Original Song Title:

"PInball Wizard"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Football Gripper"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Ever since he was a schoolboy,
he played with pigskin balls.
He’d throw ’em when they hiked ’em. . .
heard the clarion call.
Now some would like to indict him
because of his tragic fall.

That “dense, dumb,” lyin’ kid
deflates the team’s footballs.

He clams [up] like a statue
after saying nothing’s seen.
Being like a dumbshit:
“What could they all mean?!”
Plays prevarication
like a seasoned pol.

That dense, dumb, lyin’ kid
deflates the team’s footballs.

He’s a football gripper
whose hand ain’t in a fist,
a football gripper;
the truth he’s gotta twist.

How do you think he does it?
We don’t know!
That makes him so good.

But, they judged: infractions,
said that he knew all too well.
So sanctions they are passin’.
He’ll appeal as well:
goin’ for a replay,
hopin’ for recall.

That dense, dumb, lyin’ kid
deflates the team’s footballs.

He thought he was the ball-deflator king,
but Roger handed on four big downs to him.

Penalties are on the table;
Roger beats his chest.
What Tom did with the pigskin
sullies his bequest.
A deflation grip for fingers
brought on his downfall.

You’d best bide your time, kid,
sit on the bench next fall.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   13

User Comments

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Patrick - May 13, 2015 - Report this comment
A nice, good old fashioned, well-rhymed and paced parody, with a bit of a political twist. I could hear this one in my head. I like that. I wish Tom Brady had thrown an interception with one of those underinflated balls. That might have blown the whole thing wide open during the game. Of course, no team is going to complain about scoring an interception.

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