-> "Take a Wok and Cook Wild Rice"
Original Song Title:
"Take a Walk on the Wild Side"
Parody Song Title:
"Take a Wok and Cook Wild Rice"
The Lyrics
Holly gets in the way, can be a pain
When you're lookin' for that delicious grain.
Plucked some plump kernels today,
Shave the sheaves and that makes 'em chaff-free.
I say, "Hay, Shug, this is not--this is wild rice.
I'm hungry;
Take a wok and cook wild rice."
Can she find it on the kitchen island?
"In the pantry. . .found it?!" she is snarlin'.
My request has anger bred--
She'd planned a pan for bakin' bread.
I say, "Hey, Shug, take this wok and cook wild rice."
She says, "Hey, noodge, shove 'em, your wok and wild rice!"
And this cholered girl goes:
"Screw you, screw you, screw you. . . ."
Vittles go to the gut for a gourmet;
Into the wok, oil I spray and spray--
A truffle here and a truffle there;
My pork's witty--finds em every day.
I say, "Hey, 'Babe,'" (name of my fungus-find swine)
I say, "Hey, Babe, keep it up or I'll swine-dine."
Sugar plunks dairy in the wok with meat;
It's a good thing I won't just kosher eat.
Sugar can appall, so;
I tell her meat must go, go go,
I say, "Hey, Sugar, take the wok and cook wild rice."
I say, "Messhuge! make a nosh and cook wild rice!"
"Jack, since you are the seed gourmet,
You're vegan James Beard for today.
You whip up your seedy mash,
Pal, I am cookin' beefy hash
Or maybe Babe,
That swine would taste nice fried and diced
Or glazed with honey;
You can wok up that wild rice."
This sans collards girl says:
"Stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, pork stew,. . . ."
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.8 | |
How Funny: | 4.5 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.5 | |
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Total Votes: | 6 |
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