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Song Parodies -> "Take a Wok and Cook Wild Rice"

Original Song Title:

"Take a Walk on the Wild Side"

Original Performer:

Lou Reed

Parody Song Title:

"Take a Wok and Cook Wild Rice"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Holly gets in the way, can be a pain
When you're lookin' for that delicious grain.
Plucked some plump kernels today,
Shave the sheaves and that makes 'em chaff-free.
I say, "Hay, Shug, this is not--this is wild rice.
I'm hungry;
Take a wok and cook wild rice."

Can she find it on the kitchen island?
"In the pantry. . .found it?!" she is snarlin'.
My request has anger bred--
She'd planned a pan for bakin' bread.
I say, "Hey, Shug, take this wok and cook wild rice."
She says, "Hey, noodge, shove 'em, your wok and wild rice!"
And this cholered girl goes:
"Screw you, screw you, screw you. . . ."

Vittles go to the gut for a gourmet;
Into the wok, oil I spray and spray--
A truffle here and a truffle there;
My pork's witty--finds em every day.
I say, "Hey, 'Babe,'" (name of my fungus-find swine)
I say, "Hey, Babe, keep it up or I'll swine-dine."

Sugar plunks dairy in the wok with meat;
It's a good thing I won't just kosher eat.
Sugar can appall, so;
I tell her meat must go, go go,
I say, "Hey, Sugar, take the wok and cook wild rice."
I say, "Messhuge! make a nosh and cook wild rice!"

"Jack, since you are the seed gourmet,
You're vegan James Beard for today.
You whip up your seedy mash,
Pal, I am cookin' beefy hash
Or maybe Babe,
That swine would taste nice fried and diced
Or glazed with honey;
You can wok up that wild rice."
This sans collards girl says:
"Stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, pork stew,. . . ."

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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Johnny D - February 16, 2006 - Report this comment
John Barry, Master of Syllable-Matching, strikes again!
alvin rhodes - February 16, 2006 - Report this comment
uncle lou used to do his cooking in a spoon...great job...5s plus
AFW - February 16, 2006 - Report this comment
This is a real wok of art...delightful eye strolling through phenomnal phrasing...fives
John Barry - February 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks much, JD, Alvin, AFW.
Larry Hensley - February 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Very appetizing, and tasty. 5's
2Eagle - February 17, 2006 - Report this comment
C'est magnifique!

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