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Song Parodies -> "Stage Fright"

Original Song Title:

"Stage Fright"

Original Performer:

The Band

Parody Song Title:

"Stage Fright"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

“Stage Fright” (1950); Hitchcock’s only use the “unreliable narrator.” Jonathan Cooper (Richard Todd), a charming psychopath, tells the story of how his mistress, Charlotte Inwood (Marlene Dietrich), killed her husband. Turn out Cooper killed her. Critics lambasted this plot device, and Hitch apparently regretted it in retrospect. But the device went on to be a staple of such films as “The Usual Suspects.” IMO, it works well. As with “39 Steps,” “The Man Who Knew Too Much,” “Torn Curtain,” and others, the climactic scene takes place in a theater.
He’s[1] playing a part, telling what he did,
But it’s all a bluff, hiding his id.
He is a playboy who’s porking a dame[2]
Who freezes—she sees the bloodstain.

She is seized by stage fright,
Just standing up there, dressed quite wrongly in white.
The doll’s togs have got a spot blight.
How is it all gonna end?
The narrator isn’t Eve’s[3] friend.

He tells Eve the actress had caused the death
Of her husband. . .croaked him to draw his last breath.
She can’t see the frenzy in his eyes. . .
Unreliable narrator who lies.

This man has no stage fright,
Just standing up there saying that he’s alright,
But in fact he is not right—
And when we’ll get to the end,
We’ll find he’s gone around the bend.

Eve hides with him, but she’s afraid
Of his chilling word:
He killed the husband—it’s a role he played—
And he suggest killing a third.

He had snuffed a wench in days gone by
Before he had offed Charlotte’s[4] guy
Like Uncle Charles[5], he cups his hands
To strangle—now she understands!

She’s not seized by stage fright
She asks him to spare her life; he says, “Alright.”
He tries to run, but he’s caught right
On the stage, where descends
Safety curtain—his life ends.

[3]Jane Wyman, Todd’s sort-of girlfriend
[4]Dietrich’s husband
[5]Joseph Cotten in “Shadow of a Doubt”

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - March 25, 2011 - Report this comment
JAB - Richard Todd (and Marlena Detrich) in a Hitchcock flick! I was named for that dashing little Scot by my swooning mother. Yet another entry on my must see list! Good job. ;D
NorCalBunny - March 25, 2011 - Report this comment
. . . Barry, mr b-V-d, I can see the 'Frenzy' in your eyes, CaptainLaz-yeux de Feu . . . alias ~ TrippleH ~
John Barry - March 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, both.

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