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Song Parodies -> "I'm Getting Martyred in the Morning"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Getting Married in the Morning"

Original Performer:

My Fair Lady soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Getting Martyred in the Morning"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I'm Getting Martyred in the Morning

I'm getting martyred in the morning,
Cling clang the shrapnel's going to chime.
Free the fuse stopper; it'll be a whopper,
To get me to heaven on time.

I just must bust up in the morning—
Blown up; not much left but my spine.
Virgins'll kiss me;
All day they will bliss me.
As I am in their arms entwined!

Under my pants, a belt with C4. . .
Ball bearings whistling through kids of 4!

For I'm getting martyred in the morning,
Cling clang the shrapnel's going to chime.
It's going to thump, yes! I'll just have a stump left.
But get me to heaven on time.

Yes, I'm getting martyred in the morning.
Cling clang the shrapnel's going to chime.
They cannot jail me, once I've set those nails free.
So get me to heaven on time.

I just must bust up in the morning—
There won't be much left but my spine.
I'm wearing sable, to hide the bomb's cables
That get me to heaven on time.

All my parts flying all over town.
Not much but goo left here on the ground.

For I'm getting martyred in the morning,
Cling clang the shrapnel's going to chime.
Hole in the tar—me. I am not car-bomby.
So get me to heaven, get me to heaven
For my god's sake I prefer suicide.

I'll be feeling naught when I'm dead now—
Just a slight searing 'fore I die.
I'm done; I'm shaking; a drink I'm taking—
About that, I'll just have to lie.

I'm getting martyred in the morning
Cling clang the shrapnel's going to chime.

It's mindless "duty". . .how they recruit me.
To get me to heaven, get me to heaven,
To con me I'll get to heaven on time.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 3
 2
 
 3   2
 2
 1
 
 4   1
 2
 1
 
 5   7
 4
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
John, extremely thought provoking
Johnny D - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent pacing and overall a superb parody on a deadly serious, unfunny topic. Very well done, JB. 5-2-5
alvin rhodes - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
disturbingly funny...5s
Joelle - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ewww.... but funny all the same!
Guy - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Some favorite TV shows on KPLO, the Palestinian national TV station that runs a service announcement every night at ten that says: This is KPLO, it's ten PM do you know where your country is? Now for tonight's TV lineup:

7:00 - 7:30 - My Favorite Martyr
7:30 - 8:00 - Martyr Stewart Dying
8:00 - 9:00 - Super-Martyr Sweeps.
9:00 - 10:00 - Shah Hide (The El Sadr Story)

Well done parody - sort of like serious fun. 5 virgins for this one. You get the rest when you please allah and die.
Know 1 can hear you dream - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
10:00 - 11:00 Martyr´s eye for the peaceful guy 11:00 - 12:00 Friends beyond
Richard - August 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Laughter is the best weapon against death, but I feel a bit nervous about laughing about such a serious issue...

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