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Song Parodies -> "Vacian Las Vacas"

Original Song Title:

"Viva Las Vegas"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"Vacian Las Vacas"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I left the accent off the i in vacían to turn it into an elided 2-syllable word; vaciar: to empty
I like kitties ’cause you can control,
Yeah, you can control their “mire.”
Not a whole lot o’ dumpin’ and they’re set to learn
Where their waste should retire.

Get a thousand shitty heifers; take care, beware
’cause they’re all vittlin’ plenty o’ fare,
Their plentitude digested. . .comes out there.
Vacian las vacas, vacian las vacas.

Out of them the fare does pour:
Processed forage, corn, silage, and hay.
Just when you think, they couldn’t force more,
Out comes a creek the hue of café.
You’d best stand back—a soaker is the poo-jet deal;
A torrent comes across to flood your heel;
When the feed does depart, it don’t appeal.
Vacian las vacas, vacian las vacas.

Vacian las vacas—then they pee on that shit;
This ain’t guano, like dry batshit—
You hope, open’s the drain.
Vacian las vacas—surging shite says, sashay time:
Turn away, or it’s blight time.
When you see that dump,
Don’t stay put, or you may get drenched.

Kine, it seems, have got the runs;
The quantity really stuns—
Lots of Bossies can emit some slime.
Methane doesn’t smoke. . .smells
Just like anal venting that ain’t exactly sublime.
They’re gonna give you everything they got,
Graze then cuds and ruminate a lot.
When they poop the scent of hell is wrought.
Vacian las vacas, vacian las vacas.
Vacian, vacian las vacas.


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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TJC - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
JAB presents: A Bovaculous Catharsis! Now I know where the 'pelvis' part originates in 'Elvis The Pelvis'...
Tommy Turtle - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Quite the kaleidoscope of imagery there!
Blackkjack21 would undoubtedly have different ideas on how to empty Sin City.... so, it isn't really true that what's herd in Vegas stays in Vegas? Never believe the ads. (sigh) 555 cow pies, and that's no bull.
Fiddlegirl - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
How vivid.... But how funny! ;)
Christie Marie M - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
This is definitely the s**t! Creative use on toilet humor! I echo Tommy's comment above! 555!
John A. Barry - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, all. Forgot to mention: what comes out of the cows flows right down the Potomac and collects in D.C.
TT - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
You said it, John, we didn't! :) *All* of Congress, even the White House...
FG @ TT - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Oooooh... Zing of the day! :D
TT @ FG - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
(bows graciously, though not fond of dissing friend and former unknowing mentor and role model)

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