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Song Parodies -> "Filling the Soft Teeth"

Original Song Title:

"Killing Me Softly"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Roberta Flack

Parody Song Title:

"Filling the Soft Teeth"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Gumming my pain with his fingers,
Drilling the whiteness—it hurts,
Filling the soft teeth with fix strong,
Filling the soft teeth with fix strong,
Dentin is so bright, but it hurts,
Filling the soft teeth with fix strong.

That nerve he banged was damn strong: I jumped nearly a mile;
Wish I’d not come to see him; he’s drilling with a smile.
No brushing as a young boy, so now I pay the price.

Stunning the pain—how it lingers,
Drilling, it mightily hurts,
Filling the soft teeth with fix strong,
Filling the soft teeth with fix strong,
Dentin is so bright, but it hurts,
Filling the soft teeth with fix strong.

I felt all flushed with fever; the cracking sounds were loud,
I felt he found my dental damage; “stop!” I wish I’d vowed.
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on:

Numbing my pain. . .wish he did it,
Drilling the whiteness—it hurts,
Filling the soft teeth with fix strong,
Filling the soft teeth with fix strong,
Dentin is so slight when it hurts,
Filling the soft teeth with fix strong.

He sank the drill ceaselessly; my champers need repair.
And then he went right through one, as Larry* did with flair.
But he just kept on drilling; “Is it safe?” he thrummed.

Numbing my pain! There was nix stick:
Epi-caine** ice didn’t spurt,
Drilling the soft teeth hours, six long,
Filling the soft teeth with fix strong,
Then he’ll put the bite on my purse,
Filling his pockets—his fing[er]s long.
Six fig[ure]s gone!.


*Laurence Olivier in “Marathon Man)
**epinephrine-lidocaine

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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User Comments

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Mark Scotti - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
OWWW..the pain...of laughter!!! reminds me of mine: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thewho163.shtml
TJC - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
9 out of 10 dentists who read parodies recommend JAB for satire with teeth (the tenth is the Unabomber)
Dustin Hoffman - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
I especially like the "Is It Safe" inclusion.
MadameAuxDents - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
. . . . a Pirate got your Tongue, YukonJack ?
John Barry - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark: Thanks. Yours is much better.

TJC: Thanks for the endodontic endorsement.

Dustin: Allegedly, when Laurence learned that Dustin had stayed up for several nights to attain the desire fatigue effect, Sir L. said, "Why doesn't the dear boy just try acting?" Madame: Pirate or pyorrhea?
Christie Marie M - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
Lucky I didn't get a cavity as a kid. Very painful but great satire you wrote John. Fillin ya with 555's!
Tommy Turtle - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
Why would you be given epinephrine, a powerful stimulant? Would raise BP and pulse, increasing bleeding? Inquiring minds want to know....

Good and funny, but with your vocab, there could have been *much* less repetition in the choruses -- perhaps none. Two examples (read *plugs*), but 555 overall. Just holding you to a higher standard of vocabu-Barry, as has been demonstrated so many times..

This will only hurt for a minute:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/robertaflack15.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/robertaflack17.shtml

Hardly any repetition in either. You asked yesterday how I did it? By making full use of a vocabulary that doesn't quite match yours, and by taking the time and making the effort. .... If this were anyone other than John A. Barry, wouldn't have stressed this point. Cheers.
Old Man Ribber - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
JAB - Nicely done. It sounds like we have the same DMD - Menace The Dentist! ;D
AFW - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
A bit of a stray away from your usual style...but very good...Excellent title sub

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