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Song Parodies -> "Already Gaunt"

Original Song Title:

"Already Gone"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Already Gaunt"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Well, I heard some people talkin’ just the other day,
And they said that I was not looking all too well:
"She's very svelte; belt's pulled in a notch or two
We'd say, her waist is twenty-two."

More like eighteen, to be true.
They won't not let me eat any lunch. . .
"Bad for my health."

I was already gaunt;
Scrawny bod I'd flaunt.
And then it started: the taunt:
"Too, too, too huge, huge, huge!"

Even though five inches is
The circumference of my thigh,
And I look like a mummy 'cause my skin's so tight.
"Pudge," the nemesis of girls
Who want to catch designers' eye.
You gotta barf up each meal
And then puke all night.

I was already gaunt;
Scrawny bod I'd flaunt,
But I'm thinking: vittles haunt.
"Food, food, food, food, food, food!"

I'll be screwed if I ever hold my food down;
To be the model of mod'ling, you can't eat.
One day I got caught noshing, in dingy dives, fast-food chains;
They demanded: get that digit down toute de suite.

I was already gaunt,
Looked like ghosts who haunt.
I'm thinking of restaurant
'cause I'm pall-deathly gaunt.

Yes, I'm already gaunt
They want me to launch
Lunch, dinner, snacks, never stanch
Flows, or I'll have a paunch.

But I'm already gaunt,
Already gaunt
Alright!
Bites, take flight.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

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Meriadoc - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Yep, in my opinion women ought to look like the ones done by the old Dutch artists... :-)
McKludge - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Merry - What, you mean mostly naked? :-) John's right, ladies. If you look like a 10" woofer would blow you across the room, maybe you should have a sandwich. 555
littleCupCakes - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
I sense that ~Lunch Meat~ will be appearing soon . . .
John Barry - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Merry, McKludge, Cakes--you're killin' me with laughter.
alvin - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
made me hungry
Johnny D - February 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Carbs never did give nothin' to the thin man!

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