I was bathin' in Montreux
Past the Lake Geneva shoreline.
I swim swell as Mel's Mongo. . .
Aquatics ain't my line.

I got zapped and then smothered
By waves like those in a sound.
Water washed over my bared gums
And I started to go down.

Stroked in the water;
I am no Spitz guy.

I burped out spit, ample gouts;
A soggy mawful went down.
F()ckin' ondes* were runnin' down my snout;
I do believe I'll drown.

It'll be all over;
I'll go under without a trace;
I'd sip wine on high redoubt
If someone saved me from this place.

Choked in the water;
Lifeguards were not nigh.

I'm inhaling one more grand mouthful;
Eau de mort supplants my air.
The waves are rolling; luckless me in the tide,
And shriveled is my pair.

Just as I'd given myself up for dead
And though I'm maladept,
I know now that I'll get out of this--
My toe's touched in 3-foot depth.

Strode from the water,
Mighty redfaced guy.
Soaked up Kirschwasser.


*waves