She gets down at the club with the smoke and blow;
Then she drinks champagne and jumps in her car and yells, "Goe, man!
G-O-E-M-A-N."

But unlike Britney, she's wearing underpants;
She basked in fame, but then made a bad choice
To drive, Lohan,
L-O-H-A-N, that's Lohan, Lindsay Lohan.

Well there was no doubt that this chick was quite high
Because her bleary eyes made of single, double line,
Toasted Lohan, to-to-toasted Lohan.

She must be dumb 'cause she don't understand
If you walk kinda wobbly, call a taxi man and say, "Go, man,
Go, go, go, go slow, man."

But she drank champagne and cranked all night;
Drunk and frenetic, she scrammed, took flight.
A big hiccup and then she found her key
And geared her toy way up to 1-0-3.

Away she whirled, past a patrollin' guy,
Then she heard the siren cries; next it's bail-post hell
For high Lohan,
Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Lohan. . . .

But she ran away
Through the rehab door
And started to pour
As well as to snort
And again found the keys,
Next, she's booked, jailbird, she's like Paree.

Well, jail's the place that some want her to stay. . .
Say the vault should stay celebrity cliché such as Lohan,
Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Lohan.

Girl swills for joy, a boisterous girl
She will mix up, muddle up drinks to swirl, bested by no man,
No-no-no-no-no man.

Well she'd left rehab a week before,
Then next thing she went and swigged some Wolfschmidt, a quart.
A Lohan drive with her unsteady hands--
It's clear: boisterous girl needs more than reprimands.

She plies shots, this girl, 'cause her mandible can
Open and she slams down Old Grandads with aban-
don, dipso Lohan,
Skol, Bols, sloe gin Lohan
Old Fashioneds, 'dads Lohan
Lohan, blow, blow, blow, blow Blowhan
Bols, Bols, Bols, Bols Lohan. . . .