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Song Parodies -> "Handin’ a Line"

Original Song Title:

"Draggin' the Line"

Original Performer:

Tommy James

Parody Song Title:

"Handin’ a Line"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

“The Paradine Case” (1947) John B. Williams (“Dial ‘M’ for Murder,” “To Catch a Thief”) has an uncredited role as a barrister. Lawyer Keane falls for Mrs. Paradine, who’s accused of killing her husband. Keane believes that here lover, Andre Latour (Louis Jourdan) is the murderer. Andre commits suicide, prompting Paradine to confess from the dock and denounce Keane for driving Andre to his desperate act.
Making a living the law-pard way,
Taking no shit, giving much away.
Then comes a case that he should sure decline. . .
Handin’ a line (handin’ a line).

Maddelena[1] gave a flower-
laced potion to her man[2]; its power-
ful poison cause his death, police opine.
She hands a line, handin’ a line,
Handin’ a line, packet o’ lies.

Keane[3] says, “Fine, I’ll take the case.” Then he finds
That her charms cloud his mind; now he is in a bind:
He buys the line, his pair entwined,
His pair entwined gland is aligned.

Loves her but can’t freely display it;
The profession, that would dismay it.
As it turns out she’s a scamming swine,
Handin’ a line, an actor fine,
An actor fine, man in a bind.

She says, “Fine, I confess, I did the crime.”
She ain’t gonna do time: it’s the end of the line.
Baggin’ the line, factual time.
For ghastly crime: hangin’ from twine.

[1]Paradine, as played by Alida Valli.
[2]Colonel Paradine
[3]Anthony Keane, Paradine’s barrister, as played by Gregory Peck “with an occasional British accent,” as puts it.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - March 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Louis Jourdan? You are rapidly filling up my Must See List! ;D
MadameDeTokeville - March 29, 2011 - Report this comment
perhaps this the ~PirateJack~ themeSong, Captain BareAll, sir ? ?

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