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Song Parodies -> "Mark Apparel Up for Spring"

Original Song Title:

"Hark, the Herald Angels Sing"

Original Performer:

Wesley, Mendelssohn, Cummings

Parody Song Title:

"Mark Apparel Up for Spring"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

According to the site where I found the lyrics: "Hark the herald angels sing"was written by Charles Wesley, brother of John Wesley who founded the Methodist church, in 1739. A rather sombre man, he requested slow and solemn music for his lyrics and thus "Hark the herald angels sing" was sung to a different tune initially. Over a hundred years later Felix Mendelssohn (1809-1847) composed a cantata in 1840 to commemorate Johann Gutenberg's invention of the printing press. English musician William H. Cummings adapted Mendelssohn's music to fit the lyrics
Mark apparel down for spring,
Close-outs on clothes for skiing.
Peeps of earth through the snowpiles.
Togs for winter—second aisle.

Quotes for new spring fashions rise.
Made in China, priced sky high.
See the bombastic boasts proclaim:
"Christ woulda worn this—check the hem!"

Mark apparel up for spring,
Boring! this old recession thing.

Prices climbing heavenward
At Neiman, Taylor & Lord.
Despite all, gotta have some;
Spring duds have a burgeonin' sum.

Veils that show flesh all can see,
Made for carnal revelry.
Pleases man, makes his gland swell,
Beats the squeeze he-manual.

Hard, apparel-inducing—
Price be damned, he's ready to spring!

On seventh floor—prints from Greece
Markdowns from Olympics fleece.
Light and lithe to wear these things—
Give up Baked Alaska flings.

Mindless fashion-orgy buy.
First hems are low; then they're high.
You won't get your money's worth,
Of which there soon will be a dearth.

Mark apparel up for spring,
Boring! this old recession thing.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 1
 
 2   0
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 0
 
 3   1
 0
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 4   0
 1
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 5   11
 10
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Jenkins - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Very clever parody, John. My fave line was "beats the squeeze he-manual."

As a Methodist, I appreciate your introductory comments, although I think you're a little harsh on Charles Wesley. It should be noted that he wrote 6,500 hymns, so Malcolm, Will, and others have a long way to go to catch him.
Johnny D - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Fast is John Barry rising!
Soon to be Submitter-King!
AFW - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Very Madison Avenueish...and funny..no mark down..up to 555
John Barry - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, John--impressive output from Mr. Wesley! JD, I have been on a bit of a roll--don't know if that's good or bad. AFW, thanks.
alvin rhodes - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
clever concept and execution..5s
Stuart McArthur - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
loved the syllable matching to the OS title - nice wrok John - nice work too 555
Dee Range - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Also loved the he-manual line. Excellent parody, high 5's
Meriadoc - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever idea!
Michael Pacholek - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Gotta love that Martha Stewart: Kmart (which sucks, I know, I've shopped there) buys Sears (which really sucks, I know, I worked there for a year and a half), and Martha Stewart makes $32 mill in her Club Fed cell! Of course, clothes aren't just marked up for spring. Markup is a trend for all seasons.

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