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Song Parodies -> "Dame Ripper"

Original Song Title:

"Day Tripper"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Dame Ripper"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

There has been much speculation as to the identity of Jack the Ripper. One theory links the murders of East End prostitutes with Queen Victoria's grandson, Prince Albert Victor, also known as the Duke of Clarence, although the evidence is inconclusive.
They never seized him;
He took easy-virtues girls out.
They never seized him.
To this day, we still talk about

The East End's dame-ripper;
He would stick 'em, yeah.
And then he was gone, not found out,
Never found out.

He'd shiv men-pleasers
In Whitechapel, not Mayfair.
He'd shiv men-pleasers,
Then he went back to his lair.

The East End's dame-ripper;
He would stick 'em, yeah
Old Queen Vic's grandson? There is doubt.
Never found out.

Knifed the pleasers that only plied one-night stands;
Five deceased birds--he had their blood on his hands.

He was a dame-ripper,
Slum-dame knifer, yeah.
I happened so long ago now. . .
Never found out.

Dame-ripper, yeah. . . .

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm sticking you a 535 for this one... :-)
alvin - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
great concept...especially liked "he'd shiv men-pleasers"
Michael Pacholek - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Good parody, John, but the evidence IS conclusive: "Prince Eddy" was NOT the Ripper. His presence, recorded at Windsor Castle on the nights of some of the murders, removes him from consideration. Of course, he had other issues, and your use of the word "men-pleasers" brings one of them to mind. Some people think he died, and had been insane, due to syphilis. Come to think of it, that was also suspected of his contemporary, Lord Randolph Churchill, former Chancellor of the Exchequer, father of Winston, and wife of Jennie Jerome who had, in retaliation for her husband's straying, had fooled around with Prince Eddy's dad, the future King Edward VII. This was all in Victoria's era, practically under her nose. I'm sure she knew all about it. The scary part is, if not for the syphilis or whatever killed him, had he lived until 1910, Eddy would have been King Edward VIII. Instead, his brother became King George V, and was one of the most popular of Britain's monarchs. But the peccadilloes of Edward VII and his son Albert/Eddy make the fuss over Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky look pretty stupid by comparison. (So, Mike, who do YOU think the Ripper was?) Well, having been seven years old and an hour's bus ride away when the Son of Sam was on the loose, I've always been fascinated by serial killers, but I've got to say, I don't have a favorite suspect. Too many suspects don't quite fit. Unless we can exhume both suspects and victims, and match blood traces on each other, we may never know.
Kristof Robertson - July 04, 2007 - Report this comment
"Slum-dame knifer" was a GENIUS sub, John. The Ripper legend still lives on in London., and is milked as a tourist attraction. Great stuff. 555

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