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Song Parodies -> "Cleansing with the Zest"

Original Song Title:

"Bennie and the Jets"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Cleansing with the Zest"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Yay, it’s amazing, the lather
It’s not right that you’re stinkin;
I’m sure cleanliness you’d rather.
You’ll squelch those nasty acrid sites
where schvitz is found.
You’re gonna clear that wretched-you stink—
squalid pall goes down.

Slay bad commentary, such as, “He’s/she’s a pest,
an olfactory rout!”
C-c-c-cleanse pits with the Zest!
Oh, they will cheer when your funk is nulled;
you will be Zestfully clean.
You’re gonna best that schmutz, get even soots;
you won’t engender any nagging screams,
c-c-c-cleansing with the Zest!

No stench like a fishing-bait fest…
rid of that rhinal raunch
that once made you graceless.
You’ll hear no jive about a sulfurous pong.
Fight bacteria that make you unsweet
when you’re mingling among the throng.

Slay bad commentary, such as, “Please egress!…
Barnumspeak for Get out!
c-c-c-cleansing with the Zest!
You’ll get no jeers when your funk is nulled;
you will be Zestfully clean.
You’re gonna get that schmutz off even foots;
you won’t engender any gagging screams,
c-c-c-cleansing with the Zest!

Not nasty and raunchy, and no more a pest
are you…no more “Get out!”
w-w-w-welcomed ’cause o’ Zest!
You’ll be endeared when your funk is nulled;
you will be Zestfully clean.
You’re gonna wrest that schmutz from where you put
deodorant, ’cause bacteria teem.
Scent-free with the Zest!
Cleanly, scent-free with the Zest.
Cleanly, scent-free, scent flees, stench-free, squelched is smelliness.
Cleanly, scent-free, scent flees, stench-free, welcomed as a guest.
Cleanly, scent-free, scent flees, stench-free, sent no epithets.
Cleanly, scent-free, scent flees, stench-free, smelliness egressed.
Cleanly, scent-free, scent flees, stench-free, quelled the hell-sent scent.
Cleanly, scent-free, scent flees, stench-free, quelled the smell with Zest.

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