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Song Parodies -> "Pest Song"

Original Song Title:

"Jets Song"

Original Performer:

West Side Story soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"Pest Song"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

When you’re a pest, you’re a pest every day,
an accursèd house guest leching to get a lay
from hostess, Bess, fetching on the divan.
Big brother’s Jeff’s in residence; so’s her spouse, Dan.

You stay at their home; each closet you’ve inspected.
You probed a lawn gnome, but Rover has rejected
getting connected.

I can attest, with a capital “A,”
that the cops should arrest you and cart you away,
’cause you’re a pest, a baleful pest!

’cause you’re a pest, you prompt many a frown;
you’ve a grotesque swelled id. . .not from heaven sent down.
’cause you’re a pest, you are swingin’ your thing.
Diddle joy then upstands,
diddled gland with hand-cling.


A pest will appear at dinner for fried chicken;
he’ll scarf down your beer. . .
YOUR fingers he’ll be lickin’—
and YOUR nose pickin’.

Here comes that pest; like a rat he can smell
what you’re cooking today, and he’s looking like hell.
Here comes the pest—little girls, step aside,
or he’ll ogle your mounds, try to hump you besides.

Comportment ain’t fine; advances are unbidden.
He won’t toe the line; manners formed in a midden.
Ain’t read the Gideon.

Steer clear of pests, in your home, on the streets;
avoid their thuggish hands and their gross ugly tweets.
Also don’t ever let one with mom meet.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

CML - October 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Barry-ah. I just read a song from Barry-ah. (555)
Phil Alexander - October 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Well, if we're giving praise from West Side Story...

Deeee-ar kindly John A Barry
You're really outta sight
More than a little scary
The parodies you write
You're more than just "prolific"
You've written such a lot
Holy Moses! And are they sht? They're not ;-)

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