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Song Parodies -> "I Only Want to Beat Limp You"

Original Song Title:

"I Only Want to Be With You"

Original Performer:

Dusty Springfield

Parody Song Title:

"I Only Want to Beat Limp You"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I don’t know what it is that makes me club you so.
I only know I tether, administer blows—
On you I start thumping,
A la Marquis,
Then leather’s what you get;
I’m on a scolding spree.
I’m slappin’ till you’re blue—
I only want to beat limp you.

I love the bashing—that you know, and you don’t rue
Because you’re Sacher-Masoch to my Sade, it’s true.
It’s so symbiotic—mutual bliss;
I never knew that there could be a love like this.
You taste the cat, then mew;
Cries goad me so to beat on you.

My crop applied freely;
I lash you and you look askance—
You yell, "That cat causes no harm!"
Implore: “Demo your romance!
Now hit me, honey!!”

I just want to tan your hide; my leatherwear
Has got a netherworld ambience: dev’lish flair;
It’s quite smart if thumping
Is your hobby;
It ain’t exactly prête*,
It’s custom-sewn for me.
My haberdasher, Sue,
Would also like to beat on you.

Oh, oh, you’re cropped then smile at me
And ask me not to spare the lash—
I elevate my strokin’ arm
And pile on with thrash panache;
I jeer and belt you.

I just want to tan your hide; my every care
Has ended in the pleasure that we lovers share.
While you smart from thumping,
It’s ecstasy.
After our SM fest, you’ll put your pole in me.
I’m glad I’m thrashing you;
Atoning is what’s mete for you.
You say, your gland’s fat from lashings that accrue.
Guy, bone me, ’cause I’m sweet on you!

*prête-à-porter, ready to wear

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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McKludge - May 13, 2010 - Report this comment
But I thought Dusty was such a sweet lady ...
Old Man Ribber - May 13, 2010 - Report this comment can whip this parody, but you can't beat it! Tom Lehrer for the new millenium. ;D
Mark Scotti - May 13, 2010 - Report this comment
That's what happens when you start to become unglued(shamelss plug): 555 lashings
2Eagle - May 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Dusty was so masochistic she would have approved.
Genius Spotter - May 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Found one...
John Barry - May 13, 2010 - Report this comment
McKludge: Sweet and sassy.

OMR: You are too kind.

Mark: I checked out your version. . .liked it a lot.

2Eagle: I did not know that.

Genius Spotter: Thanks!
John Jenkins - May 13, 2010 - Report this comment
A masochist would never read this parody. It's too enjoyable!
LilLashHo - May 15, 2010 - Report this comment
May I have my 20 lashings, as we 'swing from the ceiling' PirateJack ?
LaMarquessDeNorCAL - May 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Love the " a la Marquis " line, PirateJack! ~SirSweat-de-Sade ~

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