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Song Parodies -> "Wreck of Francesco Flip Vessel"

Original Song Title:

"Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"Wreck of Francesco Flip Vessel"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Richard Murphy’s “Wreck of the Concordia” gave me the idea for this.
The dead ones are gone in the ship-hit-rock, gone down
In the big “lake” that collars Tuscany.
The flake cap, who fled, was in over his head;
Dreadful guy was a boat-wrecking loony.

Showboated close to the shore, and that let a boulder score
The ship’s hull, which the raw rock was rending.
It ripped a hole through the hull, then the deep blue
Went in; sailing for pleasure was ending.

The ship was the pride of the Italian side,
Comin’ back from an ill-fated crossin’.
As the huge cruisers go, it was smaller than most,
Had a crew and a cap with no reason.

Contused was the stern; the cap made an unreal turn,
And they went hull-to-boulder to cleave land.
And later that night, all wished that the gang
Plank hadn’t dropped so the boat could leave land.

The lilly-liv’ guy was a captain-fail clown,
Nautic knave who grossly was flailing.
The cap ran into a rock everyone knew
Who helmed ships, the boat-tenders appealing.

He tempted fate and then wrecked the metal plate
That’s impaled when boat-render came slashin’.
The ship was then lain in sea, on terrain,
And the waves came and hurriedly crept it.

When scamper time came, the whole crew came on deck,
Chaos reigned as the hole let the sea through.
The numbers were slim of lifeboats; hopes were dim.
It was hell, and heaven some would go to.

The captain retired to a watercraft, just him,
Left the passengers and crew in peril.
Striped pants full of shite had the frightened cap that night. . .
Made the wreck, did Francesco Flip Vessel.

Did anyone know, where did the skipper go?
Skipped the ripped ship, a turkey, this coward.
He’d served no “Mayday!” Yellow stripe ran away;
Sporting no smiles, the Coast Guard men glowered.

They called the creep up and said, “Be, cap, apprised,
Into your boats seeps loads of water.
Do you have no shame?! The captain stays, must remain—
Haul your ass back, scum, do what you oughta!!

“Lame jerkoff troll, inferior thing,
You have doomed your nice water companions!”
Troll’s pitiful scheme was: he tripped on a beam
And fell in a lifeboat. . .abandons.

And far from the boat barely now afloat,
Faking strange stories he’d engender.
He was lying, all know; as a mariner, all faux;
It’s to jail this boat-wrecker be rendered.

He had chutzpah and gall; first destroyed, then strayed
To save his ass, a mariner dreadful.
And he then chimed in some incredible lines
A sleaze man is Francesco Skip Vessel.

The dead friends live non in the clipped ship that dipped down—
There’ll be big wakes in halls in Tuscany.
Stooge mariner has pled a case that’s of truth shed.
Laughter gales it engenders. . .bum’s guilty.



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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

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User Comments

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AFW - January 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Very well written... and great use of properly descriptive adjectives
Rob Arndt - January 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Seems that WOTEF is another oft-parodied song on AIR- 555!

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