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Song Parodies -> "Rocks Man"

Original Song Title:

"Roxanne"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Police

Parody Song Title:

"Rocks Man"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Rocks man,
What's the mnemonic for "stalactite"
And, conversely, for
The other calcified thing, a "stalagmite?"

Rocks man,
The latter, I believe, stands upright
(Both look kinda funny)
Other, icicle-like, but not as light.

Rocks man,
So tell me, please, have I got it right?
Rocks man,
Sans mnemonic, it is recondite.

Rocks man:
"You have got it right."
Rocks man:
"'C' in 'stalactite."
Rocks man:
"'C' in 'ceiling, right?
Rocks man:
"Hangs from ceiling white?"
Rocks man:
"Hint--a dangling light.
Rocks man:
"In cave that's not bright,"
Rocks man:
"Hangs a stalactite."
Rocks man:
"Think of hang-down light."

Rocks man,
I understand the clue you
Gave. Now I'll pose this to you:
"Ground" is the opposite of the ceil-
ing; and so the device I can now employ.

From the ground, with "G," juts up
A stalagmite; and what's up--
On the "C"eiling, you know what. OK,
I've found the way!

Rocks man,
Now, about two rocks black as the night:
Rocks man,
Please help me get this one also right.

Rocks man,
One is polished for jewelry that's bright.
Rocks man,
Other burns bright with a hot blue light.

Rocks man:
"I will solve your plight."
Rocks man:
"One is hematite."
Rocks man:
"The other's lignite,"
Rocks man:
"Soft, not anthracite."
Rocks man:
"That's all for tonight."
Rocks man
Is getting uptight.
Rocks man's
Irked more than a mite.
Rock man's
No longer polite.
Rocks man:
"Found at your mind's site:
Rocks! Man,
Get outta my sight!"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

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Johnny D - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Everybody must get STONEd !!
Ann Hammond - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
What Johnny D said
alvin - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
this rocks, man
AFW - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Entertains and educates...mineral mirth
John Barry - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, JD, Ann, Alvin, AFW.
2Eagle - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
All I know is that they are like ants in the pants - the 'mites go up and the 'tites go down.
MrMacphisto - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Hard and heavy... 5-5-5
Tommy Turtle - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Was expecting another one about being tasered in the nuts :) Good use of rock in role. eviF eviF eviF (those are stalagfives, not to be confused with stalagseventeens)
TJC - September 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Who else could produce this gem? NO ONE!
Agrimorfee - September 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh, rocks! 555

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