Playin' for Miami, he may hear this crack,
Coming from the stands: "Don't be meshugge, Shaq!
Don't slack off while you're out there, on the hardwood.
50 percent from the line ain't good!"
Started in Florida—now he's back.
"Don't be meshugge, Shaq, big baby,
Don't be meshugge, Shaq."

His noodle looks like Curly's; it gives off a glare.
That's because his barber shaved off his hair.
Fans point out that he's gonna make bundles of cash—
He'd better play hard, not be talkin' trash.
The f*ckin' Lakers! You can see why he's back.
"Don't be meshugge, Shaq, big baby,
Don't be meshugge, Shaq, much money.
Don't be meshugge, Shaq, oy yes.
Don't be meshugge, Shaq."

Remember sugar-snack scenes with him on TV?
Shaq got fat and he looked just like he had mammaries.
But then there came a day when he laid down snacks.
His trainer said, "Lay off the sugar, Shaq."
And then he added, his trainer named Zack:
"Don't be meshugge, Shaq. Not crazy.
And play defense, Shaq.
Keep up with the old Shaq attack. . . .

[Fade]