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Song Parodies -> "The Bristol Pump"

Original Song Title:

"The Bristol Stomp"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"The Bristol Pump"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

The kid is named Bristol; she's hot as a pistol;
She did it--now Bristol's plump.
Did some humpin'. . .got one in the oven;
He did it--the Bristol pump.

Oh the little bastard's gonna see the light,
'cause God don't want men wearing sheaths skin-tight.
Well, was that gal loose? Is that values, family?

The kid is named Bristol; she's hot as a pistol
(Don't go slow);
She got dipped--now Bristol's plump
(Don't go slow).
Did some humpin'. . .got one in the oven
(Starts to show).
Who did it--the Bristol pump?

Oh yeah, it started when Bristol got extremely hot;
She balled and she sizzled--never wanted to stop.
She groaned and she twisted. . .knocked up. . .who could daddy be?

The kid is named Bristol; once thin as a thistle
(Starts to show);
She got dipped--now Bristol's plump.
(Starts to show)
Did some humpin'. . .unprotected lovin'
(Starts to show);
Who did it--the Bristol pump?

(Eat for two)
Now for two she will eat,
'cause her womb is replete.
Got pronged by a guy. . .
Mom in short time.
So, who's the man, ask we,
Put her in family
Way? Bristol's plump, waits for end of month nine,
Month nine.

Now, does her mom think that this is alright?
What will be reaction of the hard right?
I guess they shall choose--is that values, family?

The kid's named Bristol, and hot as a pistol--
Guy who did the Bristol pump
(Go, go, go).
Who's her lover, he guy above 'er
(Huh? Huh? Huh?),
Man who did the Bristol pump?

Yeah, it started when his pistol got extremely hot;
he balled and he sizzled--never wanted to stop.
He groaned and he twisted. . .knocked her up--a daddy he.

RE: Kid named Bristol--time to blow the whistle;
One who did the Bristol pump,
Her oven-bunner just picked her mother
For VP. . .made Bristol plump.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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alvin - September 02, 2008 - Report this comment
fun song....i sang along
Ravyn Rant - September 02, 2008 - Report this comment
What Alvin said. 555
unBakedCakes - September 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Pirate Jack Barrow, this is quite a write, Sir Sweaty !! I can't believe that mcCAIN could choose without checking this VP's credentials! ! but perhaps he digs Sara's looks . . .
John Barry - September 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, Ravyn, Cakes.
AFW - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Timely, topical, and right on...
Michael Pacholek - September 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Bristol, "packin' Mama." You know, Karenna Gore has two kids with her husband, but, between them, the other two Gore sisters and Chelsea have none. Maybe because their parents weren't a bunch of abstinence-only hypocrites! Good job, John.

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