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Song Parodies -> "My Gags Crammed with Crapulous Metaphors"

Original Song Title:

"I Am the Captain of the Pinafore"

Original Performer:

Gilbert and Suliivan

Parody Song Title:

"My Gags Crammed with Crapulous Metaphors"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Possible post for the "Pirates" project. Crapulous: characterized by gross excess in eating and drinking.
LEWD SUBMITTER:
My gags, crammed with crapulous metaphors. . .
Getting tight and getting stewed.
Bibing cherry schnapps good,
My antiheroes should
Take big bites of abundant food.

PRUDE ARBITER:
Get sated on too much beer,
Perhaps eat up a whole deer
That drips unsvelte gravy.

LEWD SUBMITTER:
Dig into a quartered quail,
Wash it down with quarts of ale--
Too much bevy and then get sickly.

PRUDE ARBITER:
"Much bevy?"

LEWD SUBMITTER:
A bevy.

PRUDE ARBITER:
"What bevy?"

LEWD SUBMITTER:
Harp-brewed bevy.

PRUDE ARBITER:
Bevy from Guinness' brewery

LEWD SUBMITTER:
So I'll drink three beers and twelve beers more
To get ideas for crapulous metaphors.

PRUDE ARBITER:
He'll drink three beers and twelve beers more
To help fuel crapulous metaphors.

His tunes 'bout breasts and satiated balls
Have lewd and rude content.
Sex-secretion songs he'll write,
Get 'em up on amiright,
Sneak in terms like "con," in French.

More than one time he has rhymed
About women wined and dined
While bespermed by "congress" men.

Bad language he does use,
About genitals and booze. . .
Yet rarely tamed by Chucky G.
Though "bottoms up" he may
Say in a double way,
He never will best Johnny D.

LEWD SUBMITTER:
"What, never?"

PRUDE ARBITER
No, never

LEWD SUBMITTER:
"What, never?"

PRUDE ARBITER:
He's too clever
In entendre jocularly.

So he'll give three leers and one leer more
As he pens those randy, nasty metaphors.

LEWD SUBMITTER:
I'm out of beer--off to the store
For fuel for crapulous metaphors.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Major-General Johnny D - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Bravo, Sir Barry! You are too kind to praise my alacrity with the "double entendre", my good man ... If only my success in the current investigation of these dastardly "Lewd Submitters" matched my success with such randy literary allusions ... alas ... my probe for evidence in the city was stopped by a ruling from Sir Wellington ... and my country probe was eventually obstructed by Sir Vix.
alvin rhodes - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
may your parody get crammed with fives
Stray Pooch - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
You're very, very good and be it understood, you command a right good score! Aside to General Johnny: "Sir Vix?" "Country probe?'" Yer as bad as the Lewdies, mate! LOL!
Stuart McArthur - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
John, I've already completed the opera, and was going to post it today, but I'll see if I can slide this edgewise into the storyline somewhere - esp. as you chose the only classic G&S OS that hadn't been used, and did such a good job on it - 555

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