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Song Parodies -> "Whiplash"

Original Song Title:

"Splish Splash"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bobby Darin

Parody Song Title:

"Whiplash"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Matthias parodied "Splish Splash" as "Zip Zap" yesterday, after reading Claude Prez's "Missed Mass" (both great, BTW). I found, unbelievably, that no one's done "Whiplash," so I cranked one out by that title before someone else got the idea.
Whiplash, I got into a crash,
A DUI hit me last night.
The drunk schlub had too much to drink at the pub,
So he couldn't see my taillights.
Well I heard a big thud as he smashed in the door;
He'd wrapped my van around his Trans-Am
I heard drunken snore--sleeping guy.
Whiplashed, f*cked up my neck and back.
I'll call my lawyer, go whole-hog ex parte* on this slob.

He'd been a-whippin' and a-lashin',
Veerin' with his steerin',
Cruisin' after boozin',
Rocky on the road 'n'--smash!

Bing, bang, I'd heard the big clang;
He was drunk and probably on drugs, yeah.
Flipped top on cell phone and called cops;
They came and took away this thug.
I told the lawyers, cops, "I'll for plenty sue."
They said, "Go over the top; we wouldn't stop you."
Swelled neck from whiplash, I am gonna get his cash,
Just as soon as I get this cast off, yeah!

I'll be rollin' in dough he's dolin',
Squealin' for new wheels 'n'
Choosin' some new shoes 'n'
Whistlin' and a-laughin', yeah!

I will be siftin' through his cash 'n'
I will be rollin' in his dolin',
I will be cruisin' with his Susan,
She'll be divorcin' him, of course 'n'
We'll be pre-nuppin' 'fore we're shtuppin',
We'll be a-polin' and a-holin',
Then she'll be whippin' and a-lashing,
She's dominatin'; I'm abasin'
We'll be a-flayin' and role-playin'
And then reversin' our rehearsin'.

Then we'll be rollin' and Stolyin',
Cruisin' and a-boozin'. . .whiplash. Damn!


*ex parte: from one side only in a legal proceeding

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - January 17, 2006 - Report this comment
good concept and wondrous wordplay...finger poppin' fun..or is that neck poppin' fun ?
AFW - January 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Here's my five for the whiplash jive
Stephen Harrington - January 17, 2006 - Report this comment
555, I agree, great play on words, very good.
Matthias - January 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Whiplashes aren't all that fun, but then cruisin' with his Susan is always fun!!! Oh yeah, and thanks for the compliment... 5's!
MasonR - January 17, 2006 - Report this comment
I agree with the others about word play--great job. Let me whip out some fives for ya.
John Barry - January 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Many thanks, Alvin, AFW, Stephen, Matthias, Mason.
Red Ant - January 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent play on TOS. Damn fine (and creative) rhyming as well.

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