Original Song Title:
Parody Song Title:
I think I will become catmanshrew,
but I’ll need a genetic overview.
I’ll require a gene-slicing seer
to help pull off this coup.
That’s the direction that I’m heading to.
You might think this desire is queer:
to become catmanshrew
Had enough of Sapiens, Homo…
somewhere else I want to go, go.
I need a scientific major domo
to help me see this through….
…and enable me to instantiate
what amount to a three-species state.
When I get there, it is gonna be great—
that’s what I’m tellin’ you.
is what I really would like to do.
I hope that when I next appear,
I’ll be a catmanshrew.
From the head down to about mid-chest,
I’ll be a man; I’ll be lookin’ my best.
But what about, you’ll ask, all of the rest?
What is gonna ensue?
You’ll find out when you’ll watch the TV news;
from my knees down to where once there were shoes
you’ll see feet characteristic of shrews
And in between those two:
C-c-c-c-c-c-c-cat’s in view.
That is how the three species will accrue.
All of the scientists will cheer
to see a catmanshrew.
To all of their colleagues they will boast
that the Nobel they are likely to host.
Cat part of me will be scratchin’ a post;
bitchin'/diggin' will be the shrew.
Some ask, “Why do you wanna look this way?
You’ll have a freak appearance, we must say.
What will you do if a dog past sashays?
Hiss, pet it, dig into…
the earth?” Good questions from all of you.
I’ll have to cross that bridge when I get to
it, and get over there from here…
walk on four legs or two!
C-c-c-c-c-c-c-can’t get to
the other side until decision’s due.
I’ve changed my mind, think I’m gonna veer
away from catmanshrew.
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