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Song Parodies -> "For Pumps of My Wife"

Original Song Title:

"For Once in My Life"

Original Performer:

Stevie Wonder

Parody Song Title:

"For Pumps of My Wife"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

For pumps of my wife I have love; they so please me;
They complement the sarong
Of hers and when she's gone, into which I squeeze me,
And beneath that is her thong.

For pumps, as a youth, was what I always dreamed of--
I adored those shoes.
Now I sit and choose
Between reds, greens, and blues.

Footwear, yeah!

The pumps of my wife I will borrow discreetly
Because I think she'd be sore
That pumps of hers had been sullied; she'd de-feet me:
I wouldn't hoof anymore.

In pumps I sashay; they're not mine, but I take them
From her closet each day; I'll never forsake them.
For pumps of my wife, I have lust; the soles tease me.

The pumps of my wife, fetish furrows my feet seek.
If she knew, she would be sore
That pumps of hers I shuffle around in each week
While she works at the shoe store.

In pumps I sashay; they're not mine, but I take them;
I think that I'll become a cobbler and make them--
For pumps are my life; I'll find someone to teach me.

[alternate ending]
In pumps I sashay; I will never forsake them.
Wife comes home early, says, "How could you take them?"
For pump goes my wife, and the trigger squeezes she.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
a perfect fit
The Stiff Ghost of Ed Sullivan (channeled by Michael Pacholek) - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
And now, on this stage, we have, Mister John, Barry, and a pair of REALLY big shoes! In fact, they are FIVE pairs of the prettiest, the loveliest shoes you've ever seen, but they are, here, on this stage, REALLY big shoes! So let's bring him out, one more time, and let's give him a REALLY big hand!
Ann Hammond - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
What alvin said
John Barry - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, Ann; MIchael--your comments much funnier than the parody.
PMS - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
A "Wonder"-ful parody
AFW - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
This pump is well primed...and definitely, not a drag
malcolm higgins - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
finlly enjoyed this one, big John 5-5-5 from this heel
Stuart McArthur - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
yes, I lol-ed at MP's comment, and I was expecting something different here, JAB - good stuff - 555 for using "cobbler"
Meriadoc - February 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Agree with Stu about cobbler - a great old word that !
MadameBootsy - January 12, 2009 - Report this comment
I'd pull the trigger on you too, ~Pirate Jack de Bray~, if you'd only "strut your stuff" in pair of Cowboy Boots!

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