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Song Parodies -> "With a Little Nip and Tuck"

Original Song Title:

"With a Little Bit o' Luck"

Original Performer:

My Fair Lady soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"With a Little Nip and Tuck"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Your forehead looks like peeling-paint pig iron,
So from a face job you should never shirk.
You may not look like a sultry siren, but
Just a little nip and tuck, just a little nip and tuck--
Minimal bleeding surgery works.
With a little nip, with a little nip,
With a little nip and tuck, surgery works.

They'll score above your temple; an incision
Ever so slight will they make in the skin.
You'll believe you made the right decision--when
Just a little nip and tuck, just a little nip and tuck,
And you see you've got a brand-new chin.
With a little nip, with a little nip,
With a little nip and tuck--a brand-new chin.

Instruments may look like a harrow,
Or a drill bit with a big chuck or saw that bucks.
Although these implements look a bit scary,
They will give you a fine, fetching new look.
To get that fetching new look, do not tarry, with
Just a little nip and tuck, just a little nip and tuck,
You'll look like a chick in a skin book.
With a little nip, with a little nip.
With a little nip and tuck. . .like a skin book.
With a little nip, with a little nip,
With a little nip and smoothin' tuck.

Folks next door will think they have a new neighbor
When you come strolling back into your home.
That's when you'll know it was worth all the labor, yes
Just a little nip and tuck, just a little nip and tuck,
And you won't have to repay her loan.
With a little nip, with a little nip,
With a little nip and tuck, you won't be known.

But now don't go, my goodness, "Achoo!"
Or your fragile nip and tuck may run amok.
They might need a syringe filled with androgen
And inject directly into your snout.
The problem: that might make you an androgyne;
Then the little nip and tuck, then the little nip and tuck
Of your snout, like Michael's, might fall out.
Then the pit'll drip, then the pit'll drip;
A dripping pit will sit where once was your snout.
So don't tickle it, so don't tickle it,
Or you'll rip Rivers-like nip and tuck.

You will not have a penny in your pocket.
When you have paid the doc's bill, you won't eat,
But his work remade your face and unpocked it, so
With a little nip and tuck, with a little nip and tuck.
Next week he'll make more replete each teat.
With a little nip, with a little nip,
With a little nip and tuck, he'll move boobs up.
From a little tit, from a little tit,
From a little tit he'll boost it up.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   1
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User Comments

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Phil Alexander - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent, JB.
alvin rhodes - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
yes, beware the dreaded 'achoo"...lol
John Barry - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil, Alvin.
Paree Dee - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
John, maybe TT is right about us doing the entire musical. We're almost halfway there. Do you have any more MFL ideas floating about? Would love to hear more from you ! ...PD
John Barry - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Paree Dee, I've done a couple "I'm Getting Marrieds," and "I Could have Danced," and "Accustomed." Comment won't let me post the URLs.
Tommy Turtle - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Should be submitted to the TV show (Nip and Tuck) as its theme song. Especially liked "pit'll drip" and Rivers shot. 555.
Looking forward to "My Fair Lady"'s Barry-um enema, with Nurse PD holding the tube...... BTW John, comments block now will let you post URLs if they are within AIR. Other sites still blocked against spam, thank goodness, but just put a * or two in the url, or use "3w.abc.com", e. g.
AFW - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Sorry, I missed this one, earlier...It is really entertaining...I love show songs, and you've done a fab. job, here..five curtain calls
Larry Hensley - March 29, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but funny parody.

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