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Song Parodies -> "Chestnut Marriage"

Original Song Title:

"Chestnut Mare"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Chestnut Marriage"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

*Public announcement of a marriage.
All alone, I found in that herd—
Prettiest mare I've ever seen.
Right then I gave my word:
I'm gonna hitch that horse, that's my plan.
But before that, I'll compose the banns*.

Well, I got a bony ridge when I saw this chestnut mare:
Her flanks were rippling and sleek.
I caught a glimpse and right then became a hippophile.
Makin' me squeal—what a fine equine lady!
So I cantered over real close to her
And gandered at that mane of fine hair.
So I snuck up to her nice and easy
And I got my rope out—
Also my lasso—
And it hung in the air.

I'm gonna hitch that horse, that's my plan.
But before that, I'll compose the banns.
She's the love of my life.
I will make her my wife.
I'm gonna hitch that horse, that's my plan.

Well, I got her, and I'm pushin' on her, she's pushin' back,
And we're both in a lather.
I've doffed my chaps, and I am on her.
I huff liniment, and I'm a goner.
I feel the facets in her vertebral ridge;
I'm higher than I've ever been before.

We're goin' along just fine, till she stops
Somethin' spooked her:
Thoughts of shysters, coiled up and ready to strike.
What if another pretty mare should beckon?
She figures she needs an edge,
In case I'm gone,
My vision clouded
By another I might be riding,
With her left high and dry.
She would be doomed,
If my assets I were hiding.
Was then she saw the light. . .
Writing on the wall.
Somewhere among the concrete canyons
Was sure to be found
A lawyer who
Had the skill to be apprising
Her of divorce grounds.

I'm gonna hitch that horse, that's my plan
But before that, I'll compose the banns.
She's the love of my life.
I will make her my wife.
I'm gonna hitch that horse, that's my plan.

She wants to get a prenup, in case I should let her down some day.
She rears up, throws me to the ground below us
And neighs, "Listen up, pal, or else I'll leave you out here with no water!
Either we get a prenup, you creep,
Or I am going to split.
Because I know I can't rely
On you, palaminomony to pay,
So we're finding a barnyard barrister today!"

I'm gonna ditch that horse, that's my plan
From my PC, I'll delete the banns.
She'd cause me too much strife
If I made her my wife.
I'm gonna ditch that horse for a dam.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - December 03, 2004 - Report this comment
"bony ridge" ... heh heh, hi-ho Silver!
Paul Robinson - December 04, 2004 - Report this comment
JB - Great job with this fine/catchy old Byrds number...haven't been around the site much lately since I started my new gig...can't use 'Net during workday now...folks there actually expect us to focus on business - and anyway, I've got too much to learn there to be doing any Web surfing...5's ~ ~ ~
Meriadoc - December 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember this song! Nice use of double entendres...

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