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Song Parodies -> "Absinthe Fool"

Original Song Title:

"Dancin' Fool"

Original Performer:

Frank Zappa

Parody Song Title:

"Absinthe Fool"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Soak up way too much absinthe,
That’s why I act so wrong.
I get rubber legs, and when I talk, I blubber;
My get-up’s a sarong.
Because when I start swiggin’,
It is out that I am wiggin’
And I swig absinthe every night.
I am a sight; I do things not right,
I act a fright ’cause my mind’s alight.

I’m an absinthe fool, I’m an absinthe fool.

Don’t drink it neat—it’s a sugary treat
And it can’t be beat.
Yeah, I’m an absinthe fool, I’m an absinthe fool.

I drink the stuff. . .all messed up
And my thoughts are ill.
I walk into that place down there
And that’s where I start the drill.
When they see me comin’,
They all step aside.
They cringe: “This dick does his sick shtik—
His synapses is fried! He’s an
Absinthe fool; he’s an
Absinthe fool!”

I’m keepin’ on; I ain’t withdrawn. (3x)
My mind near totally gone, ’cause I’m an
Absinthe fool, I’m an
Absinthe fool.

Nosir, nosir, nosir,
I ain’t got it together, no.

Got my very own dipso throes, hey!
Won’t flirt with smokin’, it’s a chokin’ bane.
A spoon through which water flows.
I am really sumpin’
It up most every day.
I soak it till I’m soaked,
Drink, then more I drink.
In the matins, the price I’ll pay. I’m an
Absinthe fool, I’m an
Absinthe fool. . . .

But now, I’m totally gone, ’cause I’m an. . . (3x)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Andy Primus - September 20, 2011 - Report this comment
Hilarious. Hadn't heard the OS in yonks (UK slang = a very long time). Done the absinthe bender in Marseille about 25 years ago - haven't touched the stuff since. You're right about the rubber legs - I was fine until I got out into the fresh air...
John Barry - September 20, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Andy. Try a "Death in the Afternoon," 1.5 ounces of absinthe and 4 ounces of champagne.
Andy Primus - September 20, 2011 - Report this comment
I've just remembered that it wasn't absinthe - it was a bottle of Ricard. Same result though.

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