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Song Parodies -> "He's Drunk, Santa Claus"

Original Song Title:

"Here Comes Santa Claus"

Original Performer:

Christmas song

Parody Song Title:

"He's Drunk, Santa Claus"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

*Smelling salts
Here comes Santa Claus,
Here comes Santa Claus,
Oops! He's in the wrong lane!

Think he's blitzed and had a few beers
Or alcohol of grain.
Horns are honking at the zonked king
Of our Christmas night.
Now he's veering, say your prayers
And hope he moves over to the right.

He's drunk, Santa Claus,
He's drunk, Santa Claus.
Driving in the wrong lane!

In the bag, he swilled Rob Roys
To help him ease his pain.
He laid a belle did Kris Kringle
One fine rum-punch night.
Mrs. Claus was not amused,
And summarily punched out his lights.

He's drunk, Santa Claus,
He's drunk, Santa Claus.
Driving in the wrong lane!

He had way, way too big of a pour
And glugged it down the drain.
Santa's now got double vision—
Sees everything twice.
Filled his gut with Christmas cheer—
Didn't even cut it with ice.

Come to, Santa Claus,
Come to, Santa Claus!
You've crashed into a gate.

He comes around; they stick in his snout
Ammonium carbonate*.
Peace of justice comes to call;
His car has a blue light.
In the back Santa is shoved
He'll sleep it off in the tank tonight.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   3
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Pour Santa... another 3 fifth's
alvin rhodes - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
this "sleighed" me...5s
Johnny D - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
If what my Finnish friend says about the drinking that goes on in Scandinavia during the winter months is true, it must get only worse the closer you get to the North Pole...
John Barry - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, AFW, Alvin, JD.
Billy Florio - November 24, 2004 - Report this comment
John, excellent, you might find this funny though,I wrote it like two years ago:
Kristof Robertson - November 25, 2004 - Report this comment
A Bad Santa will always get a chuckle from me! 555
Michael Pacholek - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
It would explain the Grandma story.
Lurker - September 17, 2005 - Report this comment
There is nothing funny about intentional drunkenness (which is sinful). It's doubly wrong to joke about Santa being drunk, since his charitable character (and name) are derived from the bishop, St. Nicholas of Myra.

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