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Song Parodies -> "Desk Burrito"

Original Song Title:

"Desperado"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Desk Burrito"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Desk Burrito

Desk burrito, it is assaulting my senses
It's been in that desk since. . .don't know how long now.

A rancid-lard one—
Rotting there at least one season.
Beans and cheese in it—just goo;
Don't smell like a flower.

Well, I just pulled out that desk drawer—Eww!!
My feet don't feel too stable.
Steaming stench has my equilibrium upset.

Reeling, I extract that vile thing
And lay it down on a table,
While I watch the maggots do a pirouette.

Desk burrito—I wish it was a lot younger.
It's abated my hunger more than a haggis scone.

The cheese scum, that cheese scum looks like it's walking—
It's a camouflaged roach stalking a dead-mouse bone.

I have got to remove this fermented slime—
Put it in a bin with a pound of lime
And beg the trashman to take it away.

It'll never be the same, my nose. . .
Don't think the odor will ever go away.

Desk burrito, it resembles menses.
I breached furnace defenses and opened the grate.

Incineration: from that high smokestack above spewed
The smoke from what was once good lunch food.
I just couldn't wait.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   4
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rod Worden - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
5-5-5 for the title, alone! Good work, John, VERY funny!
Ashkicksass - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
I think I'm gonna be sick. But I still gave you 5's...
Johnny D - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
5-5-5. JB....it's not too late, my friend.....GET HELP.
Royce Miller - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
good one, John
John Barry - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Muchas gracias, todos.
Leah Lockhart - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Resembles menses? Ew! That was definitley inspired. I've been trying to think of a good rhyme for this one "for so long now..." but, you win! ;-)
Spaff.com - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
By brain's currently only coughing up a few lines of the original, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because of the title sub and lines like "maggots do a pirouette."
Jeff Reuben - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
This was great...have to admit, I read your bio, and I'm pretty curious about your books as well (being a computer geek myself and all). Good job, I'll be going back and reading more of your stuff.
Paul Robinson - October 24, 2004 - Report this comment
JB - This recalls a particular time I went over to visit my now late brother, David. He was...ummm...in an altered state when I got there and during the course of the evening he found a wrapped and never eaten burrito between his couch and an end table...I don't think he knew how long it had been there...and he proceeded to unwrap and munch it right down as though it just been handed to him by some sort of cosmic fast-food clerk...I don't think that was what killed him, from where I was sitting I didn't see anything growing or flowing from it...and the burrito incident was many years before his death...but it couldn't have helped things much...Excellent job...5's

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