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Song Parodies -> "You Can't Blame the Doggie"

Original Song Title:

"How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Patti Page

Parody Song Title:

"You Can't Blame the Doggie"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

A few days ago, in "American Loon," Rick Duncan lamented about and lambasted a neighbor from hell. Everyone's probably got one. I do.
You Can't Blame the Doggie

You can't blame the doggie when its bimbo
Owner is a skank bitch who's failed
To train it not to howl when the wind blows.
I wish they'd put this bitch in jail.

The dog laws are lax in California,
Favoring tarts like her who own
Nuisance dogs and then let the curs bone 'em.
Both they and the mutts start to moan.

Guess she spreads her labia and it slobbers,
'Cause she tastes like filet of shark.
When she lets her canine lover sex her,
It gets all excited and barks.

You rarely hear noises from a kitty.
Parrots are inside when they squawk.
Absolutely silent—little fishies.
But this dumb bitch lets her mutt "talk."

You can't blame the doggie when its bimbo
Owner's a skank bitch who has failed
To train it not to howl when the wind blows.
I wish they'd put this bitch in jail.

I wish they'd put this bitch in jail.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick D - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Yay! People don't have the slightest clue that their cute little poochie is is completely different animal WHEN THEY ARE NOT HOME! They say "Oh, he never barks". Just ask the neighbors. We had a news story up here about two women with their kids in the car who stopped on the freeway to save a dog that was running in lanes. Result: One dead child, 4 in the hospital. Another warped dog-mentality tragedy.
Johnny D - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Sounds like her IQ is K9 without the K.
Rod W - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, J B! Irresponsible pet owners do a lot of damage, and it's the animals that take the rap.
John Barry - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, all. Fundamental problem: It's a myth that dogs are domesticated. Course, neither are some of their owners.
alvin rhodes - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
too funny...and you make a good point, too
Meriadoc - July 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Eeek! And we thought ours was risque... is everyone taking a crash course in Johnnyesquine Sleaze... ? ;-D

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